


Gay Assholes Try to Make a Chat

by orphan_account



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, the sanscest will come, theres a lot of swearing and shenanigans, this is just. a stupid chat based fic, though it may take a while
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-01-10 17:46:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12304362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Error there is no need to mess with him! Be kind!error: messing with who nowxcellent: are you senileerror: probablyxcellent: xoddamnit-----Ink makes a chat with a bunch of Sanses. It doesn't end well.





	1. Ink starts a Chat

**Author's Note:**

> The usernames:  
> Classic - sans.  
> Red - mcr shouldn't have broken up  
> Blue - THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE  
> Razz - Supreme Overlord  
> Error - error  
> Ink - your lord and saviour  
> Lust - The hot one  
> Geno - gno  
> Reaper - hipster death  
> Fresh - RADICAL BRO  
> Sci - Sci  
> Dream - Positive Person  
> Nightmare - EVERYONE SHALL DIE!  
> Cross - xcellent  
> Outer - outer this world  
> Horror - headbiter  
> Dust - needs a vacuum cleaner  
> Killer - Target™

your lord and saviour added sans., mcr shouldn’t have broken up, THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE, Supreme Overlord, error, The hot one, gno, hipster death, RADICAL BRO, Sci, Positive Person, EVERYONE SHALL DIE!, xcellent, outer this world, headbiter, needs a vacuum cleaner, and Target™ to the chat.

 your lord and saviour: hi everyone! lmao... and welcome to this chat made by and for sanses

 EVERYONE SHALL DIE!: HOW DID YOU RECEIVE MY HANDLE, WHO IS THIS!

 your lord and saviour: it’s me! ink! ;) orly

EVERYONE SHALL DIE!: WHAT. HOW DO I LEAVE.

your lord and saviour: aww don’t leave it’ll spoil the fuuun .

sans.: who’s the angry one?

your lord and saviour: that’s nightmare!!

your lord and saviour: maybe i should change his nickname to something more friendly hold on

EVERYONE SHALL DIE!’s nickname was changed to BATMAN.

your lord and saviour: that works

headbiter: dammit how. are we supposed. to have fun. with nightmare here.

BATMAN: WATCH IT HORROR I WILL GLADLY DEFENESTRATE YOU AGAIN.

BATMAN: WAIT WHY IS MY NAME DIFFERENT.

your lord and saviour: i changed it! and i may have changed your role so now you can’t change it back whoops lol

BATMAN: HOW DARE YOU! HOW DO I LEAVE.

xcellent: no one tELL HIM!! LMAO

your lord and saviour: hi cross!!

xcellent: who’s this bitch? i don’t know her

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Language in the server please!

your lord and saviour: D:

Supreme Overlord: cEAsE thIS RiDICUlousnESS aT ONcE!!

gno: wht th hll knda typn scheme issat

Supreme Overlord: wHAT iS YOuRS!!

gno: i lk 2 shrtn wrds k

your lord and saviour: wait!! blue, i should make you a mod.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I will perform my job as best I can!

BATMAN: ALL OF YOUR GRAMMAR IS ABSOLUTELY ATROCIOUS.

Positive Person: Aww!! You don’t need to be so rude!! :D :D

BATMAN: IS THAT DREAM.

BATMAN: I WILL FIND YOU. AND STAB YOU. WITH MY TENTACLES.

BATMAN: WHICH I HAVE MANY OF.

your lord and saviour: watch it mr hentai man lmao

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: i look away for a second and im dragged into this what the fuck

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Language!

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: fuck you you fucking shitty asslicking cumdumpster

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE kicked mcr shouldn’t have broken up from the chat.

your lord and saviour: lol

BATMAN: THAT IS HARSH. I LIKE THIS.

your lord and saviour: nightmare?? liking things? it’s more likely than you think

BATMAN: I HAVE NOW CHANGED MY MIND.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I feel somewhat guilty! But perhaps it was the best decision.

your lord and saviour: i’ll bring him back hold on

your lord and saviour added mcr shouldn’t have broken up to the chat.

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: what the fuck dude

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I apologise! But please refrain from such language in the future!

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: fuck you

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I am tempted to kick you again!

headbiter: do it.

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: HEY

gno: hy’s fr hrses

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: I DIDNT EVEN SPELL IT LIKE THAT COME ON

The hot one: Did I hear cum

headbiter: why. did you invite him.

your lord and saviour: for the dick jokes obvs

The hot one: Say headbiter do you suck too

headbiter: someone. kick him.

your lord and saviour: lol no

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Actually, I am curious as to why you added a lot of these people!

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: You seem to have added some, uh, more ‘villainous’, may I say, characters!

your lord and saviour: villains need memes too

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: …

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Fair enough.

your lord and saviour: lmao

sans.: so what are we meant to do here anyway?

your lord and saviour: i dunno just talk about random stuff

xcellent: i can sense that this chat will die out in a few days

your lord and saviour: not if i keep it alive

xcellent: lol rixht mr ‘i forxet everythinx’

xcellent: i’m surprised u haven’t forxotten ur own name

your lord and saviour: that is mean but true

xcellent: wait is error in this chat

your lord and saviour: yeah why

xcellent : **_@error_** XIVE ME MY FUCKINX SOUL BACK YOU SON OF A BITCH

your lord and saviour: ooh drama in the first ten minutes

BATMAN: I FAIL TO SEE WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Perhaps he wishes to look like an idiot?

xcellent: i thouxht u were meant to be a nice one

your lord and saviour: oh shit error’s typing hold on

error: what

error: what the fuck is this

xcellent: XIVE IT BACK YOU COCKSUCKER

error: give what back

xcellent: MY SOUL

error: your what now

xcellent: MY SOUL

error: yes i heard you the first time

BATMAN: ARE YOU TWO GOING TO CONTINUE WITH THIS ALL DAY?

xcellent: IF IT HAS TO YES

error: right your soul huh

error: i gave it to some shady guy

error: and in return he gave me a chocolate bar

error: but it was dark chocolate and dark chocolate sucks so i took the soul back

error: and killed him

xcellent: screw you dark chocolate does not suck also where’s my fuckinx soul

error: i’m getting to that

error: so then i like

error: uh

error: i don’t remember man

xcellent: what

error: i said i don’t remember you don’t need me to repeat that do you

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Error there is no need to mess with him! Be kind!

error: messing with who now

xcellent: are you senile

error: probably

xcellent: xoddamnit

your lord and saviour: error you could at least have a creative nickname

error: ok

error’s nickname was changed to creative.

creative: wait shit

creative: hold on

creative’s nickname was changed to rorre.

rorre: is that creative enough for you

your lord and saviour: it needs something better. allow me

rorre: what no

rorre’s nickname was changed to glitchdick the prick

glitchdick the prick: oh very funny

your lord and saviour: thanks lmao

BATMAN: THIS IS RIDICULOUS. ERROR, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GO DESTROY SUGARSWAP OR SOMETHING EARLIER. MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL.

glitchdick the prick: ur not my mom

BATMAN: I AM YOUR SUPERIOR.

glitchdick the prick: ok not-mom

your lord and saviour: hey wait what no destroying that isn’t cool

your lord and saviour: i’ll @ fresh don’t think i won’t do it

xcellent: please do

your lord and saviour : **_@RADICAL BRO_** come hither

RADICAL BRO: HELLO MY RAD DUDES AND

RADICAL BRO: WHO IS GLITCHDUCK THE PLUCK

RADICAL BRO: CHANGE THAT NAME IMMEDIATELY MY DUDES IT IS NOT A TUBULAR NAME

RADICAL BRO: IT’S GOT THEM UNFUNKY VIBES YOU GET ME

glitchdick the prick: fuck off

RADICAL BRO: AUGH

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: wait we can curse even when fresh is here

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: it’s a fucking miracle

your lord and saviour: well it is a group chat i don’t think fresh’s power works here

RADICAL BRO: STOP

your lord and saviour: if you want it to stop go mess with error

RADICAL BRO: OK

glitchdick the prick: goddamnit you’re the one that gave me that nickname

your lord and saviour: lol rekt

glitchdick the prick: i am going to maim you

your lord and saviour: have fun

your lord and saviour: wait shit is that a portal

your lord and saviour: oh he mad

BATMAN: PUNCH HIM IN HIS FACE ERROR.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I feel like we should not be encouraging such behaviour.

Supreme Overlord: o H shUT yUOR mOUTH pipsQUeak

BATMAN: THAT IS INCORRECT SPELLING.

Supreme Overlord: whAT maeKS yOU tHINk i caRE

BATMAN: THIS IS A SCOURGE TO THE MULTIVERSE.

Positive Person: Nightmare, _you’re_ the scourge to the multiverse.

Target™: Oh shit sick burn

outer this world: savage

BATMAN: KILLER YOU ARE MEANT TO BE ON MY SIDE.

Target™: You gotta admit He made a sick burn though

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: That was not very nice, but at the same time well deserved.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: He didn’t even use an exclamation point! Or a smiley face!

BATMAN: SMILEY FACES CAN ROT IN HELL.

hipster death: hell you say

hipster death: i was just there on a nice summer walk

hipster death: with a coffee

hipster death: the coffee was good - i went to starbucks and had the most amazing vanilla frappe

headbiter: are. you sponsored. by starbucks or something.

hipster death: who told you that

hipster death: what happens between me and starbucks stays between me and starbucks

headbiter: that. was a joke. what the hell.

hipster death: oh whoops gotta skedaddle

gno: gd rddnce

hipster death: nvm hey babe how’s it hanging

gno: go wy

headbiter: geno we. have like. no idea. of what you’re saying when you type like that.

gno: fk u

headbiter: ok. now we do.

hipster death: wanna hang later

gno: i dnt wnna hng w/ u unlss its a noose rnd my nck

outer this world: savage

hipster death: :(

your lord and saviour: im back fresh saved me

glitchdick the prick: dead to me

your lord and saviour: does that mean you’ll stop trying to kill me if i’m already dead

glitchdick the prick: i will make you deader. double dead. prepare for trouble. make it double.

your lord and saviour: lol nerd

sans.: aren’t we all nerds.

your lord and saviour: well sci is the biggest nerd but error is a close second

glitchdick the prick: im not a fucking nerd you nerd

your lord and saviour: lmao nice comeback nerd

The hot one: _Come_ -back

glitchdick the prick: leave

The hot one: To the bedroom? _Come_ with me sweetheart

glitchdick the prick: ugh

xcellent: i call bullshit on you not knowinx where my soul is

glitchdick the prick: you are the bullshit

xcellent: rude

xcellent: where is it

glitchdick the prick: i dunno probably in like

glitchdick the prick: uhhhh

glitchdick the prick: hm

xcellent: well??

glitchdick the prick: dusttale

xcellent: why would you put it in dusttale

glitchdick the prick: why wouldn’t i?

The hot one: He could have put it in Underlust so that we could have a taste

The hot one: Wink wonk

xcellent: did you seriously just say wink wonk

The hot one: ;)

glitchdick the prick: go to dusttale you fucker

xcellent: wait this is xonna be a trap isn’t it

glitchdick the prick: i would never

glitchdick the prick: (it’s a trap)

xcellent: is it xonna turn out it actually is there and you’re just trying to throw me off and make me confused

glitchdick the prick: how should i know

xcellent: you’re terrible

glitchdick the prick: no im great

xcellent: whatever i’m leavinx

headbiter: have fun. cross.

your lord and saviour: ok he’s offline

your lord and saviour: it’s not actually in dusttale is it

glitchdick the prick: lol of course not

Target™: lol dust is gonna have fun with his unexpected visitor

needs a vacuum cleaner: im… online… you pricks

glitchdick the prick: whoops have fun

your lord and saviour: so where is the soul??

Positive Person: Yeah, where?? Asking for a friend! ;D

glitchdick the prick: it is a mystery

glitchdick the prick: i mean do you honestly think i’d tell you

Positive Person: It was worth a shot! ;P

glitchdick the prick: the only shot that is worth it would be a shot through you

outer this world: savage

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: is the only thing youll contribute to this chat ‘savage’

outer this world: savage

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: goddamnit


	2. Mutiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> your lord and saviour: cross has finally lost his dignity
> 
> your lord and saviour: and the fight too
> 
> glitchdick the prick: stop texting me you’re right in front of me
> 
> your lord and saviour: and maybe later his virginity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nicknames:   
> Classic - sans.  
> Red - mcr shouldn't have broken up   
> Razz - Supreme Overlord   
> Error - glitchdick the prick   
> Ink - your lord and saviour   
> Lust - The hot one   
> Geno - gno   
> Reaper - hipster death   
> Fresh - RADICAL BRO   
> Sci - Sci   
> Dream - Positive Person   
> Nightmare - BATMAN   
> Cross - xcellent   
> Outer - outer this world  
> Horror - headbiter   
> Dust - needs a vacuum cleaner   
> Killer - Target™

sans.’s nickname has been changed to our resident furry.

our resident furry: what the fuck.

our resident furry: who did this.

our resident furry: ink why?

your lord and saviour: lol i wish i could take credit for this

your lord and saviour: way to go blue pfpf

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: But it wasn’t me!

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I mean I would have because it’s funny but it wasn’t me!

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I swear! And I don’t like swearing!

our resident furry: then who?

glitchdick the prick: lol

your lord and saviour: what

your lord and saviour: but… but the only people with those powers to change nicknames are me and blue

your lord and saviour: :?

glitchdick the prick: ;)

xcellent: do not make winky faces

xcellent: it’s unbecominx

The hot one: Lol come

xcellent: shut up

The hot one: I weep

glitchdick the prick: ;)))))

xcellent: if you continue i will stab you

glitchdick the prick: ^w^

our resident furry: oh no.

glitchdick the prick: h… hewwo?

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: god has abandoned us

glitchdick the prick: owo

glitchdick the prick: what’s this?

xcellent: who’s the furry now

glitchdick the prick: oh dear lord no

xcellent: let’s be real you’re a furry

glitchdick the prick: i’m on my way to kill you

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: this is gonna be entertaining im making popcorn

xcellent: try me bitch

glitchdick the prick: 1v1 me

your lord and saviour: oh boy i HAVE to see this

our resident furry: aaaand they’ve gone offline.

our resident furry: so how come error changed my nickname anyway?

your lord and saviour: dude i have no idea he shouldn’t be able to

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: sweet popcorn is done

your lord and saviour: sweet share it with me this fight will be hilarious

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: ]

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: aesfdugjghn

your lord and saviour: is that a no

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: i. am so angry.

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: _guess who stole my fUCKING POPCORN_

your lord and saviour: HAAHHAHAAHH

your lord and saviour: suckerrr

The hot one: Of dicks?

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: leave

The hot one: :(

outer this world: savage

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: stop that

The hot one: Savage

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: no

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Savage.

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: not you too

your lord and saviour: savage

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: i hate you all

xcellent: i am so mad right now

your lord and saviour: looool

our resident furry: what happened?

xcellent: …

xcellent: ok i’m desperate at this point

xcellent: error i will suck your fuckinx dick for my soul back

The hot one: Oh man finally some action

your lord and saviour: cross has finally lost his dignity

your lord and saviour: and the fight too

glitchdick the prick: stop texting me you’re right in front of me

your lord and saviour: and maybe later his virginity

xcellent: you could have said that aloud

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: wtf is happening

your lord and saviour: cross is trapped in error’s strings

your lord and saviour: and now i think error is puppeteering him

your lord and saviour: error is making cross do the macarena

your lord and saviour: dignity: gone

your lord and saviour: dance: funky

your lord and saviour: dick: out

The hot one: Nice

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: someone kick ink

your lord and saviour: HEY I’M THE ADMIN I CAN’T BE KICKED

glitchdick the prick: not anymore

glitchdick the prick kicked your lord and saviour from the chat.

headbiter: holy shit. mutiny.

glitchdick the prick: so i’m the new ruler now

our resident furry: but why did you call me a furry.

glitchdick the prick: i know about you and asgore

glitchdick the prick: and possibly toriel i think she’s in on it

glitchdick the prick: i’ve been paying less attention lately

our resident furry: have you been watching?

Positive Person: LOL creep!! XD

glitchdick the prick: i can always spend my time destroying universes instead

Positive Person: Nvm -.-

glitchdick the prick: how come dream gets to use emoticons and no one complains but i can’t

xcellent: because you’re a murderinx soul stealinx asshat and dream is uh nice

glitchdick the prick: >:0

xcellent: see you’re always salty too

glitchdick the prick: >:00000

BATMAN: WHAT IS HAPPENING.

glitchdick the prick: mutiny

glitchdick the prick: and cross is being a jerk

xcellent: i am tellinx the truth

BATMAN: CAN I BE A MOD NOW.

BATMAN: ACTUALLY.

BATMAN: MAKE ME A MOD. THAT IS AN ORDER.

glitchdick the prick: hmm

glitchdick the prick: no

BATMAN: I WILL FIGHT YOU.

glitchdick the prick: meet me in the fuckign pit

BATMAN: OH THE MISSPELLINGS, YOU MUST DIE, YOU WRETCHED GLITCHY MESS.

Supreme Overlord: fiGhtING liKE dOGS

Sci: Honestly Razz.

Sci: You type like how I would expect Error to.

glitchdick the prick: why in the fuck would i type like that

Sci: Because you’re a glitchy kind of person.

glitchdick the prick: that doesn’t mean it will carry to how i fuckign text heavens above

BATMAN: HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO MISSPELL THAT.

glitchdick the prick: look i’m trying to type quickly let me live

BATMAN: UNACCEPTABLE. NO MERCY.

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: ‘let me live’ that’s ironic coming from you

glitchdick the prick: all you other fucks can die i’m the only one worth keeping

glitchdick the prick: and classic because his universe is staying

our resident furry: gee thanks.

glitchdick the prick: you’re welcome

Supreme Overlord: Its How I EXPress mY rAGE

glitchdick the prick: k

glitchdick the prick: it takes you fucking forever to type though

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: you could always use all caps like nightmare

The hot one: Yeah like mr hentai

BATMAN: WHAT.

BATMAN: I DO NOT EXPRESS RAGE.

BATMAN: CAPITAL LETTERS ARE USED WHEN A WORD IS IMPORTANT. AT THE BEGINNING OF A WORD, FOR INSTANCE. BUT I USE THEM FOR ALL MY LETTERS, BECAUSE ALL MY WORDS ARE IMPORTANT. THEREFORE EVERYTHING IS CAPITALISED BECAUSE I AM ABOVE YOU PEASANTS.

Target™: Actually He’s a filthy homestuck

BATMAN: WHAT IS HOMESTUCK.

Target™: Shit I said nothing

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE added your lord and saviour to the chat.

your lord and saviour: honestly what the fuck i was admin you shouldn’t have been able to do that

glitchdick the prick: i am now

your lord and saviour: but how

glitchdick the prick: ;)

xcellent: STOP

glitchdick the prick: ovo

glitchdick the prick: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

The hot one: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

your lord and saviour: i want my position back

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: why is razz still typing

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: it’s taking forever and must be irrelevant by now

your lord and saviour: razz is just slow at typing! ! we know this

gno: wll hs typn scheme sux

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: you’re one to talk at least we can understand what he says

gno: >:(

hipster death: i appreciate you

gno: i h8 u

hipster death: :(

outer this world: savage

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: error kick outer please

glitchdick the prick: savage

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: I TRUSTED YOU

xcellent: why would u

xcellent: he stole ur popcorn

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: I MEANT THAT METAPHORICALLY

Supreme Overlord: FabuloUsness Creates mocKery As beLittLing the lOrd (me) Feels Unjust

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: what

xcellent: why did that take so long

xcellent: it doesn’t even make sense

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: The capitals letters spell it out.

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: oh

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: ‘fuck all of u’ how creative

RADICAL BRO: PROFANITY

RADICAL BRO: HOW UNRAD

RADICAL BRO’s nickname was changed to FUCK ASS SHIT BOLLOCKS

FUCK ASS SHIT BOLLOCKS: NO

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: lol

FUCK ASS SHIT BOLLOCKS has left the chat.

BATMAN: HOW DO I DO THAT.

glitchdick the prick: maybe you should figure that out before asking me to be a mod 

BATMAN: IT WAS AN ORDER, NOT AN ASK. 

glitchdick the prick: mhm 

needs a vacuum cleaner: why is cross... here again... in dusttale...

needs a vacuum cleaner: it took forever to get rid of him last time... 

xcellent: shut up i was thrown here 

needs a vacuum cleaner: error... i predict several knives with your name on it in your future... 

glitchdick the prick: oh sweet christmas is coming early? 

glitchdick the prick: wow dust is being so thoughtful, already getting me a gift 

needs a vacuum cleaner: i hate you... 

xcellent: i hate him too 

mcr shouldn't have broken up: let's form a group of people who really hate error 

The hot one: He's hot tho 

glitchdick the prick: 

glitchdick the prick has kicked The hot one from the chat. 

your lord and saviour: wow 

your lord and saviour: fucking rip 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE has added The hot one to the chat.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Ink please watch your language! 

glitchdick the prick: blue i once saw you stub your toe and let out like five paragraphs worth of curses 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: You can't prove that! 

glitchdick the prick: i have a video 

Positive Person: Stalker! ;p 

glitchdick the prick: you're stalking the chat 

outer this world: savage 

glitchdick the prick: ok for once i'll agree with red if you continue with that i'll kick you 

outer this world: ;-; o k 

glitchdick the prick: tears won't work on me 

outer this world: oh 

outer this world: t hat's 

outer this world:  _savage_

glitchdick the prick has kicked outer this world from the chat.


	3. The Aesthetic™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> glitchdick the prick: i don’t love you
> 
> your lord and saviour: you don’t love anyone
> 
> glitchdick the prick: that is false
> 
> glitchdick the prick: i love myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nicknames:   
> Classic - our resident furry  
> Red - mcr shouldn't have broken up   
> Blue - THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE   
> Razz - Supreme Overlord   
> Error - glitchdick the prick   
> Ink - your lord and saviour   
> Lust - The hot one   
> Geno - gno  
> Reaper - hipster death   
> Fresh - FUCK ASS SHIT BOLLOCKS   
> Sci - Sci   
> Dream - Positive Person   
> Nightmare - BATMAN   
> Cross - xcellent  
> Outer - outer this world   
> Horror - headbiter   
> Dust - needs a vacuum cleaner   
> Killer - Target™

Positive Person: Bring Outer back!! :,( 

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: all he said was ‘savage’

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: it’s not like he was contributing anything useful 

Positive Person: D:

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Don’t worry Dream, I’ll bring him back! 

BATMAN: HOW COME BLUE GETS TO BE A MOD BUT I DO NOT. 

BATMAN: IT IS NOT VERY FAIR. 

glitchdick the prick: because blue has chill 

glitchdick the prick: and you have none 

BATMAN: ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT BLUE HAS A COLD? THIS MAKES NO SENSE. 

glitchdick the prick: do you not know what having chill means 

our resident furry: gay 

glitchdick the prick: furry 

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: classic you are gay 

our resident furry: pan actually 

headbiter: yes. you love a good kitchen utensil. 

glitchdick the prick: actually 

glitchdick the prick: it’s short for ‘panda’

glitchdick the prick: because he’s a furry 

your lord and saviour: nice 

The hot one: 69

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: are you describing your current activity 

The hot one: *Would anyone like to 69 

glitchdick the prick: good luck with that 

headbiter: if. i do it. i can bite off. his dick. 

needs a vacuum cleaner: do it…

Positive Person: Blue, could you bring Outer back now?? ;P 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Oops! I forgot, sorry Dream.

Positive Person: ;-;

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE added outer this world to the chat. 

your lord and saviour: dream is mad crushing on outer 

Positive Person: WH- 

Positive Person: THAT’S NOT TRUE!! 

outer this world: o h ma n wh at 

xcellent: where the fuck am i 

your lord and saviour: are you alright 

xcellent: no 

xcellent: i went to the antivoid to find my soul 

xcellent: and now i’m lost 

glitchdick the prick: lol

xcellent: oh shit 

your lord and saviour: maybe you shouldn’t say this in chat 

xcellent: ink help 

your lord and saviour: no 

xcellent: nightmare help 

BATMAN: NO. 

xcellent: fuuuuck

glitchdick the prick: i see you 

glitchdick the prick: you want a soul huh 

xcellent: slfkh;lsfdm.f,vb

xcellent: soi’doffhjklg

xcellent: ‘;dfh ]

your lord and saviour: oh dear 

Positive Person: Cross?? ;Ó.Ò 

Positive Person: Ink what’s happening?? 

your lord and saviour: idk 

Positive Person: Go check! 

your lord and saviour: you check 

glitchdick the prick: ink is refusing because he gets a panic attack whenever he comes here 

glitchdick the prick: it’s hilarious 

Positive Person: That isn’t funny! 

glitchdick the prick: yeah it is 

Positive Person: >:0 

xcellent: i’m. xoinx. to kill. him. 

your lord and saviour: you’re typing like horror 

headbiter: what’s. wrong with that.

your lord and saviour: uh 

your lord and saviour: nvm 

your lord and saviour: anyway what happened cross 

xcellent: he. 

xcellent: he fuckin. 

glitchdick the prick: i fucking dumped a bunch of shoe soles on him from an above portal 

outer this world: so y ou could sa y 

outer this world: that c ross liv es 

outer this world: in soul-itud e

our resident furry: nice 

xcellent: fucker 

xcellent: i’m cominx for you next 

outer this world: i don’t w ant yo ur we ird poss ess ion x thing 

FUCK ASS SHIT BOLLOCKS joined the chat. 

FUCK ASS SHIT BOLLOCKS: DID SOMEONE SAY POSSESSION?? 

FUCK ASS SHIT BOLLOCKS’s nickname was changed to RADICAL BRO. 

RADICAL BRO: I CAN HELP MY DUDES!! 

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: how the fuck did he get in here 

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: how did he even know 

RADICAL BRO: LANGUAGE BRAH!! 

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: fuck you 

RADICAL BRO: >B( 

your lord and saviour: aldkghdfklg

your lord and saviour: o shit waddup 

glitchdick the prick: where the fuck did that old ass meme come frs;dfgkhdflkgvc,j .nmilmkf,cv 

glitchdick the prick: IM A POOPY PANT SFGL:HFJBVL :,jdfmcknv,m hn

glitchdick the prick: dslkfghdgiojcvklh,jdfv FUCJflcvhFHGVB K

your lord and saviour: he admits he’s a poopy pants

your lord and saviour: i’m screenshotting that 

glitchdick the prick: asdgdfklvch,j m

glitchdick the prick: no 

xcellent: HELP 

glitchdick the prick: IM GOING TO FUCKIGN KILL CROSS 

your lord and saviour: did he steal your phone 

xcellent: HEY DID YO U KNOW ERROR’S LOCKSCREEN IS ADSfCVBk, jnflkv

glitchdick the prick: SHUT UP 

your lord and saviour: what?? 

xcellent: ITS SLDKFG<JDFLvc,jgdmflkcvjghdf

glitchdick the prick: NO 

your lord and saviour: what the 

mcr shouldn’t have broken up: HEY BROS 

your lord and saviour: hi fresh 

mcr shouldn’t have broken up’s nickname changed to GRUMPY BRO. 

GRUMPY BRO: WASSUP 

outer this world: d on’t tell m e 

our resident furry: this new red sure possesses more charm 

GRUMPY BRO: AYYY

xcellent: ANYWAY 

xcellent: I SAW MY SOUL 

xcellent: (it was error’s lockscreen) 

your lord and saviour: lol what 

your lord and saviour: a little obsessed are we? 

glitchdick the prick: THAT IS LIES AND SLANDER 

glitchdick the prick: FALSITIES 

BATMAN: IT IS TRUE I SAW IT ONCE. 

glitchdick the prick: SHUT UP 

your lord and saviour: lmao 

your lord and saviour: so the soul 

your lord and saviour: it’s staying with you for safekeeping? 

The hot one: Sexkeeping 

headbiter: that wasn’t. even a pun. 

The hot one: Well I think it was punderful 

glitchdick the prick: you’re all dead to me 

your lord and saviour: apart from cross apparently 

xcellent: i can’t believe error’s had the hots for me the entire time 

glitchdick the prick: IT WAS FOR THE AESTHETIC OK 

glitchdick the prick: HOW MANY HALF MONSTER HALF HUMAN SOULS DO YOU SEE ON A DAILY BASIS 

xcellent: i was hopinx you loved me 

xcellent: if you love me xive it back 

glitchdick the prick: i don’t love you 

your lord and saviour: you don’t love anyone 

glitchdick the prick: that is false 

glitchdick the prick: i love myself 

our resident furry: self care

xcellent: and my aesthetic apparently 

glitchdick the prick: let me appreciate pretty things 

xcellent: you think i’m pretty??? 

glitchdick the prick: no 

xcellent: he said i was pretty 

your lord and saviour: i’m having a fun time with these screenshots today 

glitchdick the prick: you can’t prove anything 

xcellent: that implies you do think i’m pretty 

glitchdick the prick: why would i think that 

our resident furry: stop flirting already you gay fucks. 

glitchdick the prick: WE’RE NOT FLIRTING 

xcellent: i’m not but he is 

glitchdick the prick: DIE 

your lord and saviour: you know i think if he actually didn’t like you he’d kick you from the chat 

glitchdick the prick: THERE’S A THING 

The hot one: Your dick? 

your lord and saviour: it must be small then 

The hot one: How would you know lol 

glitchdick the prick: IT’S CALLED SPITE 

xcellent: i can’t believe ink has seen error’s dick 

glitchdick the prick: what the fuck 

glitchdick the prick: i’m a skeleton 

The hot one: You mean you don’t know? 

glitchdick the prick: oh shut up i know perfectly what you mean 

glitchdick the prick: i don’t do that shit you nasty 

The hot one: If you were doing shit that would be rather strange, even by my standards 

glitchdick the prick: naaaaaasty. that’s what you are 

our resident furry: are we missing the obvious joke, that is:

our resident furry: wow error, you called your dick spite? 

your lord and saviour: no wonder it’s so big 

The hot one: Now you’re just contradicting yourself 

glitchdick the prick: i would have killed you all by now but i’m too busy trying to figure out who to kill first 

your lord and saviour: you’ve tried to kill me like over a hundred times error 

your lord and saviour: none of your attempts have worked 

our resident furry: i mean you’ve got to admit

our resident furry: for all this talk about murdering us you haven’t really succeeded 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: That is because we are his only friends! 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: He told me once! 

glitchdick the prick: i absolutely never said any such thing 

glitchdick the prick: also i destroy universes on a daily basis i’ll reach you fuckers later 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I’ll get you to say it again! 

glitchdick the prick: blue you were literally the one who taught me how to do blackmail 

glitchdick the prick: i thought you carried a video camera on you at all times 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Well! I forgot that time! 

Positive Person: Blue?? Blue doesn’t do blackmail? ;; 

glitchdick the prick: clearly you don’t know him very well 

Positive Person: I don’t believe you. 

glitchdick the prick: ok 

glitchdick the prick: it’s not like blue has a large legion of blackmailed people at his service 

xcellent: are you one of them? 

glitchdick the prick: i’m not stupid enough to get blackmailed by blue do you have any idea what he makes them do 

xcellent: no what does he make them do 

GRUMPY BRO: B) 

xcellent: red? 

xcellent: wait no fresh is possessinx red 

xcellent: fresh what 

xcellent: oh 

xcellent: i don’t even want to know 

glitchdick the prick: i did tell you 

your lord and saviour: don’t get blackmailed by blue 

your lord and saviour: it’s really not worth it 

xcellent: i thought he was innocent 

Positive Person: Ink?? But… 

gno: drm hw did u not no 

Positive Person: Geno, could you spell that out more clearly? I’m afraid I don’t understand!! ;o 

gno: dream how did you not know 

headbiter: why. can’t you type. like that normally. 

gno: quicker 

headbiter: it’s not like. you’re in a hurry. you just stand around. in that save screen. doing nothing. 

gno: fk u

Positive Person: How was I supposed to know?? -.-

BATMAN: THAT IS BECAUSE DREAM IS IGNORANT AND NAÏVE. 

BATMAN: ALSO DREAM I HAVE COOKIES AT MY CASTLE IF YOU WANT THEM. 

Positive Person: Really? How can I say no?? :D 

your lord and saviour: dream holy shit im sobbing 

your lord and saviour: i don’t sob but 

your lord and saviour: dream 

your lord and saviour: fuck he’s offline 

BATMAN: SEE? 

your lord and saviour: ok i’m gonna go make sure you don’t murder him 

your lord and saviour: i kind of like having positive feelings in my life 

glitchdick the prick: that’s funny 

glitchdick the prick: you can’t feel anything 

your lord and saviour: no comment 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Error… The vials… 

glitchdick the prick: oh is that what they’re for 

glitchdick the prick: i thought he just had them for general paints 

your lord and saviour: BLUE 

your lord and saviour: WHY WOULD YOU TELL HIM 

glitchdick the prick: i see a pile of dust in your future 

glitchdick the prick: also is there a vile that gets you high 

glitchdick the prick: asking for a friend 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Is that where my brother’s blunts have been disappearing to? 

glitchdick the prick: i can neither confirm nor deny that statement 

xcellent: what the fuck dude 

hipster death: why do you think his eyes are so red 

hipster death: lol 

glitchdick the prick: don’t call me out like this 

xcellent: is this also for the aesthetic 

glitchdick the prick: yes 

xcellent: your clothes fuckinx suck how do you like ‘aesthetic’ 

glitchdick the prick: that’s fashion 

glitchdick the prick: also fuck you my clothes are good

xcellent: have you looked in a mirror 

glitchdick the prick: i do so often, and i look fabulous 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: You say that Cross, but your outfit is ridiculous. 

xcellent: you wear a ‘battle body’

headbiter: let’s face it. no one here. has good taste. 

The hot one: Excuse you 

hipster death: how dare you 

headbiter: lust you. wear bright neon colours. 

headbiter: and death. you just wear a shitty robe. 

The hot one: Honey your clothes have stains 

headbiter: i know and. have long ago accepted this. 

outer this world: i think i l o ok o k 

our resident furry: outer you are a sans. 

our resident furry: and your jacket kind of clashes anyway 

your lord and saviour: i could always design you outfits 

glitchdick the prick: no way your drawings suck 

needs a vacuum cleaner: i thought… ink was a good artist… 

glitchdick the prick: you’re joking right he can barely make a stickman 

your lord and saviour: how dare you 

your lord and saviour: no one has ever seen my drawings before 

glitchdick the prick: i looked through one of your notebooks once 

glitchdick the prick: it was lying on the ground 

glitchdick the prick: so i flicked through it 

glitchdick the prick: it was filled with old memes and shitty doodles 

glitchdick the prick: after the fifth pepe i stopped 

your lord and saviour: what the 

your lord and saviour: 

your lord and saviour has left the chat. 

glitchdick the prick: i honestly didn’t think he’d be that ashamed 

BATMAN: DAMMIT HOW DO I DO THAT.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: That is a secret. 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE has added your lord and saviour to the chat. 

your lord and saviour: hey cross 

xcellent: what 

your lord and saviour: can i join the hating error group 

xcellent: don’t worry, everyone is in it by default 

glitchdick the prick: fuck you 

xcellent: you wish lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am honestly having so much fun with this.  
> there's definitely gonna be inevitable sanscest and it's fairly obvious who will be with who because i am not subtle at all.  
> i've been reading comments (and i'm pretty bad at responding sorry - i never know what to say!) and lemme tell u i read every one and appreciated them all and it's rlly been inspiring me to write more of this silly thing so thank you all so much.  
> anyway - i hope you enjoy all these shenanigans!


	4. Kidnapping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> glitchdick the prick: batman help me out
> 
> glitchdick the prick: i mean nightmare
> 
> BATMAN: IS IT MURDER TIME.
> 
> glitchdick the prick: yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nicknames:  
> Classic - our resident furry   
> Red (although currently possessed by Fresh) - GRUMPY BRO   
> Blue - THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE   
> Razz - Supreme Overlord   
> Error - glitchdick the prick  
> Ink - your lord and saviour   
> Lust - The hot one   
> Geno - gno  
> Reaper - hipster death   
> Fresh - RADICAL BRO   
> Sci - Sci   
> Dream - Positive Person   
> Nightmare - BATMAN   
> Cross - xcellent   
> Outer - outer this world   
> Horror - headbiter   
> Dust - needs a vacuum cleaner   
> Killer - Target™

Positive Person: My own brother!

Positive Person: My own lovely kin!

Positive Person: LIED to me.

Positive Person: :,(

GRUMPY BRO: AW NUTS, WHAT ABOUT?

Positive Person: He told me he had cookies for me at his castle!

Positive Person: But there was no such thing!

Target™: Well at least We gave You food

Positive Person: No you didn’t! >:(

Target™: Yeah We did. We gave You a knuckle sandwich

headbiter: lol

BATMAN: DREAM. YOU ARE SO NAÏVE. BESIDES. WE ARE NO LONGER BROTHERS. I DISOWNED YOU.

Positive Person: Not in my heart! </3

BATMAN: YOU ARE VERY ANNOYING.

Positive Person: Did you have to lay an ambush for me?

BATMAN: YES.

BATMAN: THE ENTIRE POINT OF THIS WHOLE THING WAS TO KILL YOU.

BATMAN: BUT THEN CROSS RUINED EVERYTHING.

BATMAN: CROSS IS NOW FIRED.

BATMAN: OUT OF A CANNON.

Supreme Overlord: wHAT dID cROSS DO

glitchdick the prick: do i get the cookies

BATMAN: THERE ARE NO COOKIES. IT WAS A RUSE.

glitchdick the prick: that’s a lie i’ve seen you bake cookies before

BATMAN: NO YOU HAVE NOT.

glitchdick the prick: i have videos on everyone, you included

BATMAN: YES YOU GET COOKIES.

BATMAN: ANYWAY.

BATMAN: CROSS MANAGED TO GLUE THE CASTLE DOORS SHUT.

BATMAN: WE HAD MANAGED TO CAPTURE DREAM, BUT THE DOORS WOULD NOT OPEN.

headbiter: and since. nightmare likes his castle. he refused to bust through.

headbiter: so we tried. the secret entrances.

headbiter: but ink was there. and he blinded us with paint.

headbiter: and then he ran off.

headbiter: with dream.

BATMAN: I WAS THE ONE RECOUNTING, YOU BUFFOON. GO TO THE IDIOT CORNER. THE DUNCE CAP IS THERE FOR YOU.

headbiter: goddamnit.

your lord and saviour: wait is that why cross was in undersail

your lord and saviour: did you actually fire him out of a cannon

BATMAN: OF COURSE I DID WHO DO YOU TAKE ME FOR.

BATMAN: I AM NOT A WEENIE.

Target™: Lol Horror’s in the idiot corner

glitchdick the prick: where’s my damn cookies

BATMAN: ARE YOU IN MY CASTLE.

glitchdick the prick: yes

glitchdick the prick: i’m in the kitchen

glitchdick the prick: next to your frilly apron collection

BATMAN: I DO NOT HAVE A FRILLY APRON COLLECTION.

headbiter: oh that’s mine.

needs a vacuum cleaner: we cook together…

your lord and saviour: you guys cook together?

headbiter: how else. would i make. my head dogs.

GRUMPY BRO: oh my god what the fuck

GRUMPY BRO: my head hurts so much what happened

GRUMPY BRO: why is my nickname this

GRUMPY BRO’s nickname was changed to what the fuck.

what the fuck: did

RADICAL BRO: I POSSESSED YOU DAWG!!

RADICAL BRO: ALSO WHERE IS SCI MY FLY BROS??

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Uh, nowhere.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Why do you ask?

Supreme Overlord: yES, wE haVEN’t gOTteN hiM DrunK aT all

RADICAL BRO: OH GOOD! I WOULD BE HELLA WORRIED IF HE HAD ANY UNRAD INTOXICANTS!!!

Supreme Overlord: yOU can’T EvEn FEel

RADICAL BRO: DETAILS

Sci: hheEy guys

outer this world: i s sci o kay

Sci: i mm gereat

Sci: ghey fresh

RADICAL BRO: HI SCI!! YOU’RE TYPING DIFFERENTLY

Sci: no im not

our resident furry: dear god blue and razz what the hell did you two do to him

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Nothing!

Supreme Overlord: yEAH

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Oh wait! Let me add someone real quick.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE added fork in the garbage disposal to the chat.

fork in the garbage disposal: blue i should not be texting

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Nonsense!

Sci: ddance

Sci: im gonna throw up

fork in the garbage disposal: someone get a plastic bag

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Can you do it?

fork in the garbage disposal: BLUE I AM THE ONE DRIVING IT IS HARD ENOUGH TO TEXT AND DRIVE

RADICAL BRO: TEXTING AND DRIVING?? THAT IS AGAINST THE LAW

RADICAL BRO: THAT IS VERY MUCH THE OPPOSITE OF DOPE

your lord and saviour: fresh are you aware of what dope means

RADICAL BRO: DOPE MEANS LIKE

RADICAL BRO: RADICAL

your lord and saviour: dope is another word for cocaine

RADICAL BRO:

RADICAL BRO has left the chat.

glitchdick the prick: it’s like christmas has come early

glitchdick the prick: i have cookies AND fresh left the chat

your lord and saviour: why are you so obsessed with christmas

your lord and saviour: that’s a human holiday

our resident furry: yeah around here we like giftmas

glitchdick the prick: i prefer looking at surface timelines

your lord and saviour: what why

glitchdick the prick: better soap operas

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Timelines are not soap operas!

your lord and saviour: they kind of are

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Ink!! They are not!

Target™: They can be

gno: xcuse me

gno: if u fks can like

gno: trnsprt ppl

gno: nd hv cool pwers n sht

gno: y cnt 1 of u fkin hlp me

hipster death: i would help but i kind of have to perpetually kill people

gno: i dnt wnt ur hlp nyway

fork in the garbage disposal: wow that’s depressing

hipster death: yup

hipster death: i’m practically dead on my feet

hipster death: or more accurately death on my feet

our resident furry: nice

your lord and saviour: speaking of death

hipster death: yeah

your lord and saviour: error did you just destroy a universe

glitchdick the prick: yep

glitchdick the prick: i did it with the power of cookies

your lord and saviour: you sound like a kid in their random phase

glitchdick the prick: hypocrite

your lord and saviour: stop destroying universes

your lord and saviour: there’s like no point

glitchdick the prick: sure there is

glitchdick the prick: i do it for

glitchdick the prick:  “:♡.•♬✧⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾*+:•*∴ｔｈｅ  ａｅｓｔｈｅｔｉｃ(◕‿◕✿)

Positive Person: Wow!! How do you make those faces!! :O

glitchdick the prick: just search up emoticons and its like one of the first results

your lord and saviour: no don’t do this

xcellent: someone stop error from ever usinx emoticons

glitchdick the prick: 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸

xcellent: rude

xcellent: 凸(¬‿¬)

our resident furry: you have brought a plague upon our chat

outer this world: ✧٩(•́⌄•́๑)و ✧

Positive Person: (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)

your lord and saviour: new rule

your lord and saviour: only dream can use them

outer this world: wh at ab out me

your lord and saviour: acceptable

glitchdick the prick: you don’t rule this place

your lord and saviour: they listen to me

Target™: No We don’t

headbiter: we listen. to nightmare.

glitchdick the prick: what about me

needs a vacuum cleaner: i hate you so no…

Target™: Dust is chill so I agree with Him

headbiter: no comment.

glitchdick the prick: fucks sake

BATMAN: YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON ME.

BATMAN: IF IT IS FOR MURDER AND OTHER SUCH THINGS.

glitchdick the prick: see i can trust nightmare

glitchdick the prick: unlike some of you

xcellent: i think you mean all of us

glitchdick the prick: i can trust blue too

glitchdick the prick: to an extent

Sci: ye a h blues greatg

Sci: hoshit

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Oops.

Supreme Overlord: DANCE YOU IDIOT

fork in the garbage disposal: someone recite my obituaries

fork in the garbage disposal: the death guy

hipster death: don’t tell me i have to reap you

fork in the garbage disposal: you may have to

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: The car we are in is teetering off the edge of a cliff.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I don’t think we can leave.

Supreme Overlord: wEELL DanCE CaN sHORtCUT

Supreme Overlord: gET us O UT

fork in the garbage disposal: you guys are in the trunk

fork in the garbage disposal: i cant reach you

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Ooh! I think we can bust out, hold on.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Well we should probably leave you to it. Bye Dance!

fork in the garbage disposal: don’t you dare

Sci: dobby is a free elelf

Positive Person: Why were you in the trunk? (๏д๏)

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Because we may have kidnapped someone and needed to ensure they wouldn’t escape.

Positive Person: YOU DID WHAT? (ʘᗩʘ’)

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Why did you think Lust hadn’t replied in a while?

Positive Person: Because I thought he was busy?? You kidnapped him??? ･(•́⍛•̀; ≡ •́⍛•̀;)

Supreme Overlord: yES

RADICAL BRO has joined the chat.

RADICAL BRO: OKAY I’M OVER IT NOW

glitchdick the prick: fuck

RADICAL BRO: I THINK YOU MEAN FUNK BROHAM

glitchdick the prick: ass

RADICAL BRO: DO NOT TEST ME

glitchdick the prick: balls

RADICAL BRO: BALLS? ARE WE PLAYING CATCH?

glitchdick the prick: goddamnit

Sci: nno but fres h yu ou cna fcome ove r and play wih my ball s

RADICAL BRO: THAT SOUNDS WIGGIDY

our resident furry: sci no

our resident furry: don’t you dare

what the fuck: oh my fufckin

what the fuck: yes go on fresh

Positive Person: You realise we should not be encouraging this!

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I feel almost guilty. I’ll get him home properly.

Supreme Overlord: oH coME on

Supreme Overlord: It wAS juST gETTING goOD

your lord and saviour: hold on

your lord and saviour: i’m thinking

xcellent: for once

your lord and saviour: the aesthetic being why error destroys universes makes no sense

your lord and saviour: i mean it was probably a joke but you can never tell with error

glitchdick the prick: i’m a fan of minimalism

glitchdick the prick: once the universes are gone there’s one left

glitchdick the prick: it’ll be much tidier

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: He does like keeping things tidy!

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: He even sorts the souls he keeps!

our resident furry: you know error could probably answer every question with “the aesthetic”

our resident furry: “why do you go to outertale?”

our resident furry: “the aesthetic.”

our resident furry: “why do you look so fucking weird?”

our resident furry: “the aesthetic.”

what the fuck: i mean for looking like such a mess he doesn’t even like messes

what the fuck: and he claims to like himself

glitchdick the prick: i think you mean love

your lord and saviour: we all know that error is narcissistic

your lord and saviour: and we hate him for it

glitchdick the prick: that’s fine i hate you too

what the fuck: OUTER I SEE YOU TYPING IF YOU SAY ‘SAVAGE’ I SWEAR TO FUCK

outer this world: savage

what the fuck: AAAAAAAAAAA

RADICAL BRO: SCI SHOWED ME HIS BALLS!  

glitchdick the prick: tmi

RADICAL BRO: APPARENTLY HE PLAYS BASKETBALL!

RADICAL BRO: THE BALLS HE SHOWED WERE RAD AS HECK!

Target™: Did He show any long poles

RADICAL BRO: YES! HE SHOWED ME HIS TUBULAR SWORD!

our resident furry: all jokes aside why would sci have a sword

RADICAL BRO: THERE ARE NO JOKES! IT WAS SHARP AND LONG!

The hot one: Ok why am I in a dark place

The hot one: Where am I

fork in the garbage disposal: you may want to leave

fork in the garbage disposal: the car is about to fall off the cliff

The hot one: Whasdlikghdfcvl ‘\

fork in the garbage disposal: welp he dead

hipster death: nah not yet

The hot one: WHAT THE SHIT

fork in the garbage disposal: oh hey you’re alive

The hot one: I teleported away before I could die

The hot one: BUT WHY

The hot one: YOU KIDNAPPED ME??

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I wanted blackmail and they wanted to help.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: But it did not work out.

your lord and saviour: i know im late to the party but

your lord and saviour: “why did you kidnap blue?”

your lord and saviour: “the aesthetic”

The hot one: I think you mean aesthedick

glitchdick the prick: leave

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: No, that was just because he is a lonely sad little man.

glitchdick the prick: i am not little

glitchdick the prick: but ink is

your lord and saviour: where are you

glitchdick the prick: why

your lord and saviour: because i need to kill you right now

glitchdick the prick: wow

glitchdick the prick: you have quite a temper

glitchdick the prick: it’s short, just like you

our resident furry: the same could be said for you

our resident furry: you’re both shorter than me

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Yes, they are both quite short.

glitchdick the prick: blue we are the same height

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: But I have accepted I am short.

gno: lol shrties

glitchdick the prick: geno

glitchdick the prick: what will happen to you soon

glitchdick the prick: will likely be fatal

hipster death: if it helps i won’t reap you geno

hipster death: even though that’s an awful idea and i should always do my job

hipster death: otherwise we end up with really murderous ghosts or something

xcellent: my clothes are still fuckinx sinxed

xcellent: nixhtmare i’m suing you

BATMAN: I THINK I SHOULD BE THE ONE SUING. YOU GLUED MY DOORS SHUT.

xcellent: it was an honest mistake

BATMAN: NO IT WAS NOT.

glitchdick the prick: lol ink tried to come after me but i went to the antivoid and now he’s writhing about on the floor screaming and crying

glitchdick the prick: batman help me out

glitchdick the prick: i mean nightmare

BATMAN: IS IT MURDER TIME.

glitchdick the prick: yes

Positive Person: Fiends! I will go to help Ink!

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Am I supposed to join?

Positive Person: Yes!!!

Target™: I can’t believe Ink is fucking dead

your lord and saviour: c ol ou r

glitchdick the prick: um.

xcellent: lol what

glitchdick the prick: nightmare.

glitchdick the prick: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HELP INK

BATMAN: BYE.

glitchdick the prick: WHAT THE FUCK

what the fuck: yeah?

glitchdick the prick: shut up

our resident furry: what in the heck happened

Positive Person: I came in late but I think Nightmare grabbed Ink and ran off through a portal.

Positive Person: Nightmare can be good after all!

BATMAN: NO SHUT UP.

Positive Person: I’m so happy for you!

BATMAN: ERROR GO KILL DREAM.

glitchdick the prick: you didn’t help me kill ink i’m not helping you kill dream

Positive Person: Error can be good after all!

glitchdick the prick: leave

Positive Person: How else can I talk to my lovely brother?

BATMAN: YOU CAN COME TO MY CASTLE.

Positive Person: Really??

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Don’t do it Dream.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: You know it’s a trap.

Positive Person: I don’t care!! I want to talk to Nightmare!

xcellent: do it

BATMAN: YES COME HERE.

your lord and saviour: dream don’t you dare make me come and save you again

The hot one’s nickname was changed to five dollar hoe.

five dollar hoe: Who

what the fuck: well it was either blue or error

what the fuck: since they’re the only mod things

glitchdick the prick: it was blue

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: No!

glitchdick the prick: it was me

five dollar hoe: asshat

five dollar hoe: i would not fuck you for five dollars

glitchdick the prick: i wouldn’t fuck you at all

outer this world: i would f uck dream fo r anythi ng

your lord and saviour: you must be glad he’s offline

glitchdick the prick: as long as he doesn’t read back messages

outer this world: oh s hit

BATMAN: NO BROTHERFUCKERY.

outer this world: i th ought yo u diso wned him

BATMAN: SHUT UP.

your lord and saviour: aww he cares

BATMAN: YOU ARE A TWAT.

outer this world: savage 

glitchdick the prick: at this point i can't even be bothered to kick him

glitchdick the prick: you have run this joke into the ground 

outer this world: bu t i'm in sp ace

glitchdick the prick: is that why you keep making random spaces between letters 

outer this world: y es

our resident furry: come on error 

our resident furry: all our existences are just one big gag

one resident furry: can't you take a joke? 

your lord and saviour: no he can't 

your lord and saviour: that's why he's trying to destroy us 

glitchdick the prick's nickname was changed to comedy destroyer.

comedy destroyer: if i get rid of jokes 

comedy destroyer: then i will no longer be at the butt of any

five dollar hoe: Lol butts 

comedy destroyer: goddamnit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now that dance has joined i probably won't add any more sanses  
> i'm making this up as i go and i'll try to update daily (no promises tho lol)


	5. Error is Too Gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BATMAN: I AM COMING TO THE ANTIVOID.
> 
> comedy destroyer: no don’t
> 
> BATMAN: OH ME.
> 
> BATMAN: OH MY.
> 
> BATMAN: OH ME OH MY OH ME.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nicknames:  
> Classic - our resident furry  
> Red - what the fuck  
> Blue - THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE  
> Razz - Supreme Overlord  
> Error - comedy destroyer  
> Ink - your lord and saviour  
> Lust - five dollar hoe  
> Geno - gno  
> Reaper - hipster death  
> Fresh - RADICAL BRO  
> Sci - Sci  
> Dream - Positive Person  
> Nightmare - BATMAN  
> Cross - xcellent  
> Outer - outer this world  
> Horror - headbiter  
> Dust - needs a vacuum cleaner  
> Killer - Target™  
> Dance - fork in the garbage disposal

comedy destroyer: holy shit

comedy destroyer: you will NEVER guess what i just saw

xcellent: what

BATMAN: I WILL PAY YOU IN A WEEK OF COOKIES IF YOU NEVER SAY WHAT YOU SAW.

comedy destroyer: two weeks

BATMAN: ...DEAL.

your lord and saviour: gee i wonder what happened

comedy destroyer: …

your lord and saviour: ;)

comedy destroyer: do not wink at me, peasant

xcellent: i am so confused

BATMAN: YOU SHOULD BE.

five dollar hoe: Help

comedy destroyer: no

five dollar hoe: I just bought like sixteen boxes of tic tacs

comedy destroyer: ...what flavour

five dollar hoe: Strawberry

comedy destroyer: as the owner of this chat i am entitled to half of them

five dollar hoe: No

comedy destroyer: too late

five dollar hoe: YOU FUCKER DID YOU JUST STEAL MY TIC TACS

comedy destroyer: i should steal from you more often

five dollar hoe: i’m joining the hating error club

xcellent: i feel like this chat is just a way for this club to slowly xain more members

comedy destroyer: thanks

xcellent: you’re not welcome

comedy destroyer: :(

Sci: Error is an atrocity.

comedy destroyer: WHAT THE FUCK SCI

your lord and saviour: it’s true

Sci: It is true.

comedy destroyer: are you just saying that because i stole your pocky

Sci:

Sci: Yes.

your lord and saviour: lmao

your lord and saviour: everyone’s so protective over food

comedy destroyer: well classic never has to worry about it he doesn’t even eat chocolate

our resident furry: that is because there are other foods than chocolate.

comedy destroyer: did you know there’s more than ketchup in life

our resident furry: blocked

your lord and saviour: we could all just block error

your lord and saviour: but we wouldn’t get to see him embarrass himself in chat

your lord and saviour: i wonder if he’s changed his lockscreen

xcellent: let’s xo steal his phone

comedy destroyer: i’m in the antivoid ink ain’t coming

your lord and saviour: nvm

xcellent: thanks for tellinx me where you are

comedy destroyer: …

comedy destroyer: i’m in dusttale

xcellent: WHY DO YOU KEEP TRYINX TO MAKE ME XO TO DUSTTALE

comedy destroyer: i’m hoping that one of these days dust will kill you

needs a vacuum cleaner: actually…

comedy destroyer: i paid for your silence be quiet

needs a vacuum cleaner: mmm

xcellent: what

xcellent: why do people keep paying each other for silence

xcellent: what kind of shit are you fucks doing

gno: skeleton fuckery

BATMAN: THAT IS NOT TRUE.

comedy destroyer: google

comedy destroyer: how do i kill a guy who’s already dead

gno: u paid fr dust’s silnce nt mine

comedy destroyer kicked gno from the chat.

needs a vacuum cleaner: not cool…

comedy destroyer: WHY DOES HE EVEN KNOW ANYWAY

needs a vacuum cleaner: we talk sometimes…

comedy destroyer: ABOUT THAT???

needs a vacuum cleaner: well it was before you had paid me for the month…

needs a vacuum cleaner: so i was perfectly allowed…

comedy destroyer: FUCKING LOOPHOLES

what the fuck: wait

what the fuck: sci

Sci: Yes?

what the fuck: do you actually remember anything from yesterday

Sci: Well.

Sci: Some.

what the fuck: are you aware you showed fresh your balls

Sci: My balls?

what the fuck: yes

what the fuck: did you or not show fresh your testicles

Sci: That’s uh…

Sci: Not what I meant by my balls.

what the fuck: do tell then

Sci: I have basketballs in my room.

your lord and saviour: then wtf was the sword

comedy destroyer: clearly he has a katana because he’s some fucking nerd

comedy destroyer: despite not actually knowing how to use one

Sci: How dare you.

comedy destroyer: i’m not wrong

Sci:

Sci: I’m joining the club.

xcellent: xood we’re always lookinx for new members

comedy destroyer: is there just a club for hating me just because i call you bitches out

xcellent: you stole my soul

comedy destroyer: well

what the fuck: you steal my food

comedy destroyer: wELL

five dollar hoe: You changed my name to that and stole half my tic tacs

needs a vacuum cleaner: you keep dumping cross in my au…

needs a vacuum cleaner: i mean i know why but still…

xcellent: why?

needs a vacuum cleaner: i’ve been paid for my silence try again next month…

xcellent: oh come on

xcellent: what could he possibly be hiding

xcellent: we already know he’s an insane asshat kleptomaniac

xcellent: what could possibly be so embarrassinx that he has to pay for your silence

needs a vacuum cleaner: figure that one out yourself…

your lord and saviour: we could always ask geno

needs a vacuum cleaner: or do that…

xcellent: ok i’m findinx the save screen

comedy destroyer: no you don’t

BATMAN: I AM GOING TO FIND GENO.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: You know what?

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I can make this a lot easier.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE added gno to the chat.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Tell us.

gno: error wants to fuck cross

comedy destroyer: NO

xcellent: what

comedy destroyer: NO FUCKING

gno: correction: error wants to smooch cross

comedy destroyer: THAT’S NOT MUCH BETTER

your lord and saviour: geno even stops typing terribly to tell us this

gno: fk u

your lord and saviour: that seems to be a common reaction

xcellent: if you really like me to that extent xive me my soul back

comedy destroyer: i don’t like you

gno: no he lves u

xcellent: oh senpai

BATMAN: ERROR I AM WARNING YOU THIS IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE OF MOCKERY.

BATMAN: IF YOU ALLOW CROSS TO DO THIS YOU WILL ONLY EMBARRASS YOURSELF FURTHER.

comedy destroyer: i know this

comedy destroyer: and i’m on my way to kill both geno and cross

xcellent: you wouldn’t kill me error-kun

Sci: Throw in a doki-doki.

xcellent: xood idea

xcellent: error-senpai you make my soul (that you stole, by the way) xo doki doki.

comedy destroyer: i will rip your soul apart

xcellent: why haven’t you already ;)

comedy destroyer: do not winky face at me

xcellent: ;)

BATMAN: I AM COMING TO THE ANTIVOID.

comedy destroyer: no don’t

BATMAN: OH ME.

BATMAN: OH MY.

BATMAN: OH ME OH MY OH ME.

headbiter: may i. even ask.

BATMAN: HAHAHA. ERROR YOU LOSER.

comedy destroyer: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

your lord and saviour: i have many questions

xcellent: honestly same

gno: nw u knw hs scrt

needs a vacuum cleaner: he can’t come after me since geno said it…

comedy destroyer: DID YOU KNOW THAT I AM TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH CROSS.

your lord and saviour: yes

xcellent:

comedy destroyer: I AM SO GAY.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: We know this.

comedy destroyer: I AM SO SO SFgdAsdgjhD;s’dgkdf;

comedy destroyer: FUCK YOU

comedy destroyer: I HATE YOU NIGHTMARE

BATMAN: OH PLEASE.

BATMAN: I DID NOT LIE.

comedy destroyer: you stole my phone you bitch

BATMAN: HOW DARE YOU.

BATMAN: HOW. DARE YOU.

BATMAN: DO NOT INSULT YOUR SUPERIORS.

comedy destroyer: i’m the superior

BATMAN: NO YOU ARE NOT.

BATMAN: SIDE NOTE, ERROR IS TOTALLY BLUSHING AS HE IS TYPING HAHAHA WHAT A LOSER.

xcellent:

your lord and saviour: cross are you ok

xcellent:

xcellent: no

your lord and saviour: cross i am so sorry

xcellent: no you’re not

your lord and saviour: no i’m not

comedy destroyer kicked BATMAN from the chat.

comedy destroyer kicked gno from the chat.

comedy destroyer kicked xcellent from the chat.

comedy destroyer: ok i’m safe

needs a vacuum cleaner: bring geno back…

comedy destroyer: no

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE added gno to the chat.

comedy destroyer: i am having second thoughts about having you as a mod

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: :(

Positive Person: What on earth did I miss? (￣◇￣;)

your lord and saviour: a confession

comedy destroyer: there were no confessions shut your fucck

your lord and saviour: fucck

Positive Person: (￣□￣)

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE added BATMAN to the chat.

comedy destroyer: BLUE

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE added xcellent to the chat.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I am a good mod who doesn’t kick people for stupid reasons.

comedy destroyer: aaaaskjghfdgjkfdhcv\

xcellent: replace blue with me as a mod i’m responsible

comedy destroyer:

comedy destroyer: no

xcellent: why not

comedy destroyer: because i can clearly see you’re trying to take advantage of this

xcellent: what your crush

comedy destroyer: I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH!!!! 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸

BATMAN: YES HE HAS A LOVE.

comedy destroyer: I HATE ALL OF YOU

xcellent: xive back my soul and i’ll consider it

comedy destroyer: ok you know what

comedy destroyer: only because i know you’ll keep spamming me and fighting me about it

xcellent: holy shit

your lord and saviour: holy shit

BATMAN: ERROR YOU FOOL.

comedy destroyer: shut up nightmare

Positive Person: Error can be good after all! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و

comedy destroyer: i’m always a good person

your lord and saviour: LOL what

comedy destroyer: shut

xcellent: holy shit holy shit

xcellent: xuys its my fuckinx soul

xcellent: I HAVE IT

xcellent: i could cry

BATMAN: BABY.

xcellent: fuck you

xcellent: you have like a hundred souls

BATMAN: TRUE.

Positive Person: (⊙…⊙ )

Positive Person: He has 99.

BATMAN: I WOULD HAVE 100 IF IT WAS NOT FOR YOU.

Positive Person: (⊙︿⊙✿)

xcellent: ,,

xcellent: ok i don’t have as much of a xrudxe on error now

xcellent: literally the only reason i hated him was bc he stole my soul

xcellent: i’m leaving the club

your lord and saviour: cross no

xcellent: bye space cowboy

BATMAN: CROSS HE MADE YOU DO THE MACARENA.

xcellent: that is true

comedy destroyer: is joke?

xcellent: j oke

comedy destroyer: j ok e

your lord and saviour: what are they saying

xcellent: J OK E

what the fuck: goddamnit cross

what the fuck: don’t do it

xcellent: too late

your lord and saviour: do you really want to date a weird ass stalker

xcellent: hey hey who said anything about dating

your lord and saviour: i figured that the ‘joke’ thing was a strange courtship

xcellent: is joke

comedy destroyer: joke

BATMAN: THIS IS HOW THEY MAKE FRIENDS. DO NOT STOP THEM.

your lord and saviour: friendship is weird

our resident furry: i left to get groceries and i come back to this.

our resident furry: should i even ask.

xcellent: no

our resident furry: ok bye

RADICAL BRO: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGICAL DAWG!!

comedy destroyer: leave

RADICAL BRO: :((( BRO! NOT COOL!

BATMAN: OK CAN BOTH OF YOU DO ME A FAVOUR AND FUCK UP A RANDOM AU I DO NOT EVEN CARE YOUR POSITIVE EMOTIONS ARE ANNOYING AND I NEED SOME NEGATIVITY IN MY LIFE.

comedy destroyer: k

Positive Person: Aww they’re happy!

your lord and saviour: cross is justified because he has his soul back

your lord and saviour: uh error is

your lord and saviour: generally gay

comedy destroyer: should i be embarrassed to be gay

your lord and saviour: no you should be embarrassed for being weird

comedy destroyer: i’m not weird

comedy destroyer: you hypocrite

xcellent: you’re both p messed up

Sci: Ink and Error are both very messed up, but so is Cross. As well as Nightmare and Dust and Horror.

Sci: Don’t forget Razz and Red.

xcellent: well

xcellent: i do have a xhost in my body that could come out at any moment

xcellent: how to remove xhost chara from body xooxle search

Sci: Come to my lab and we can find out.

your lord and saviour: hooray, progress

BATMAN: CROSS NO.

xcellent: bye

BATMAN: CROSS! DO NOT GO THERE.

BATMAN: WE NEED THE GHOST.

xcellent: nightmare i haven’t slept in a month because of them

BATMAN: I DO NOT CARE.

xcellent: come on sci let’s cure my insomnia

Sci: Yes come along.

BATMAN: FUCK.

comedy destroyer: you promised me cookies

BATMAN: AT LEAST I AM BETTER AT HIDING THINGS THAN YOU.

comedy destroyer: it means i don’t have to pay dust anymore

comedy destroyer: now give me my damn cookies

BATMAN: FINE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...yes the errorcross is very self indulgent but hey don't worry cross doesn't want to date error (yet).  
>  edit: i completely forgot to change error's nickname to comedy destroyer im a dumb BUT NOW IT IS FIXED


	6. Ghostbusters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BATMAN: FUCK YOU.
> 
> Supreme Overlord: nO thANKs I’’M NoT ONE fOR tENtACLES
> 
> BATMAN: YOU ARE LIKE A USED NAPKIN.
> 
> BATMAN: DIRTY.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nicknames:  
> Classic - our resident furry  
> Red - what the fuck  
> Blue - THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE  
> Razz - Supreme Overlord  
> Error - comedy destroyer  
> Ink - your lord and saviour  
> Lust - five dollar hoe  
> Geno - gno  
> Reaper - hipster death  
> Fresh - RADICAL BRO  
> Sci - Sci  
> Dream - Positive Person  
> Nightmare - BATMAN  
> Cross - xcellent  
> Outer - outer this world  
> Horror - headbiter  
> Dust - needs a vacuum cleaner  
> Killer - Target™  
> Dance - fork in the garbage disposal

your lord and saviour: wait

your lord and saviour: dream didn’t you go to nightmare’s castle

your lord and saviour: what happened with that

Positive Person: Oh, you know.

Positive Person: The usual.

your lord and saviour: so in other words he tried to kill you while you went forward with the project

Positive Person: Yes.

Positive Person: The project.

Sci: How does one deal with a really angry ghost.

gno: blast it

Sci: Geno you have issues.

headbiter: decapitate it.

needs a vacuum cleaner: stab it…

Target™: Uh

Target™: Let It take over Your entire being and cry

xcellent: been there done that

Sci: Yes we are trying to do something with said very angry ghost.

what the fuck: is this some sort of beginning to a children’s book

what the fuck: ‘the very angry ghost’

what the fuck: ‘by sci’

Sci: No.

xcellent: essentially through a number of weird science shenanixans

xcellent: which uh

xcellent: involved splittinx my soul apart

your lord and saviour: did you have an out of body experience

xcellent: no

xcellent: it was just very painful

BATMAN: CROSS!

BATMAN: I CANNOT EXPRESS JUST HOW DISAPPOINTED WITH YOU I AM.

xcellent: oh come on

xcellent: you’re a lil bitch

BATMAN:

headbiter: you dead.

Sci: Please do not antagonize the angry tentacle monster.

Sci: We still need to get rid of the sdgfhdvnb .

Sci: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sci: AAAAAAAAAA

what the fuck: wtf

Sci: FUUUUUCK

what the fuck: i have questions

our resident furry: sci

Sci: AAAAAAAAA

our resident furry: sci

Sci: asDFHDNOVB:Lj

what the fuck: let me guess

what the fuck: nightmare is there

BATMAN: NOT YET.

xcellent: HELP

xcellent: SOMEONE

your lord and saviour: explain

xcellent: uh chara stole sci’s phone

xcellent: and now they’re wreckinx everythinx

Sci: FUCK YOU CROSS

Sci: YOU ASS

Sci: WELL NOW I’M FREEEEEEE

xcellent: shit

your lord and saviour: let me guess

your lord and saviour: the murder ghost thing is loose

xcellent: yeah

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: So you need someone to dispose of it?

xcellent: yes

hipster death: i could also use the help

hipster death: let us bond over there being murder ghosts

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: …

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: _**@comedydestroyer**_

xcellent: he’s not online and he wouldn’t be able to help anyway

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: He’s killed ghosts maybe he can help.

xcellent: error is not willinx to help anyone

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: That is true.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Wait.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: He’d help you. ;)

xcellent: don’t remind me of that

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Pull some favours.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Dare I say…

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Pull some strings?

five dollar hoe: Kinky

xcellent: all of you can leave

comedy destroyer: whomstve mentioned me

comedy destroyer: so you need some murdering eh

xcellent: yes

xcellent: come murder this asshole ghost

comedy destroyer: where u at

xcellent: find sci

comedy destroyer: k

hipster death: this is going to end very badly

fork in the garbage disposal: ok what the fuck

fork in the garbage disposal: why

hipster death: get used to it

fork in the garbage disposal: i would prefer not to

hipster death: murder is a reoccurring thing

hipster death: you could say we’re the life of the party

fork in the garbage disposal: you all suck

five dollar hoe: Dick

fork in the garbage disposal: why am i not surprised

Sci: I have retrieved my phone.

five dollar hoe: Wait

five dollar hoe: Blue

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Yes?

five dollar hoe: Why did you kidnap me

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE:

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: You were the only person I didn’t have blackmail on.

fork in the garbage disposal: hey wait what

fork in the garbage disposal: you don’t have blackmail on me

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Ahem.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Might I remind you of the Inflatable Alien Incident?

fork in the garbage disposal:

fork in the garbage disposal: you told me you deleted the pictures

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: That was a logical ruse!

fork in the garbage disposal: i can’t believe this

five dollar hoe: I don’t think I want to know do I

fork in the garbage disposal: no. you do not.

your lord and saviour: now i’m curious

your lord and saviour: blue message me

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: No, I may need the picture for blackmail.

your lord and saviour: dangit

fork in the garbage disposal: twat

xcellent: the xood news is that chara is xone

xcellent: the bad news is that chara has ran off somewhere and is not permanently dead

xcellent: error you suck at your job

comedy destroyer: i was doing nightmare a favour

xcellent: you were what

comedy destroyer: think of it this way

comedy destroyer: if he didn’t have access to xchara he probably would have disposed of you

comedy destroyer: it’s not like you can actually use the ‘overwrite’ thing now

comedy destroyer: only chara could do that

xcellent: well

xcellent: whatever

BATMAN: THANK YOU ERROR.

BATMAN: DO YOU KNOW WHERE CHARA WENT I MUST GO THROUGH THE RECRUITMENT STAGE.

xcellent: i’ll be surprised if they want to xo through that axain

headbiter: do not. mock the recruitment.

xcellent: half of it was just

xcellent: you

xcellent: you made me do the chicken dance

comedy destroyer: HA

comedy destroyer: nightmare please tell me you recorded that

BATMAN: I AM NOT GOING TO APPEAL TO YOUR FETISH, ERROR.

comedy destroyer: who the fuck said anything about a fetish

your lord and saviour: nightmare

your lord and saviour: are you suggesting error is a furry

our resident furry: we already knew that.

comedy destroyer: I AM NOT

comedy destroyer: think about it

comedy destroyer: furries are fucking shameless about it

comedy destroyer: i am not one

comedy destroyer: sans hasn’t even changed his name back

our resident furry:

our resident furry: i’m too lazy.

your lord and saviour: hmm

your lord and saviour: guilty until proven innocent

comedy destroyer: oh come ON

xcellent: he’s a furry

comedy destroyer: p lease

five dollar hoe: Well now you’re insinuating that you’re some sort of animal like species

xcellent: in what way

five dollar hoe: If Error is a furry

xcellent: i’m pretty sure furries don’t just xo for animal like monsters

xcellent: i feel like you’re forxettinx that he’s also a massive narcissist

your lord and saviour: if he really wanted to date himself he would go to another multiverse

comedy destroyer: there aren’t any other multiverses

your lord and saviour: that you know of

comedy destroyer: no

BATMAN: ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE HIM CRASH.

your lord and saviour: why would i ever do that ;3c

comedy destroyer: you’re the one using furry emojis

your lord and saviour: excuse me which one of us went ‘owo what’s this’ a while back

comedy destroyer: JOKE

comedy destroyer: J O K E

your lord and saviour: but do we really know

comedy destroyer: reminder that i can and will kick you

your lord and saviour: reminder that i can and will make a new chat

Supreme Overlord: iT aPPEarS tHAT ThEYRE AT a StalEMAtE

five dollar hoe: Hmm

five dollar hoe: Since it is entirely possible for us to go after furry monsters

five dollar hoe: Then if Error was a furry he would likely go after a Toriel

five dollar hoe: Maybe he is not a furry

comedy destroyer: i can’t believe i’m saying this but

comedy destroyer: lust is right

comedy destroyer: for once

comedy destroyer: i’m not a furry, end of discussion

hipster death: wait i got here late

hipster death: you didn’t manage to end the ghost?

comedy destroyer: i would have but

comedy destroyer: nightmare would be mad

BATMAN: IF YOU THINK ABOUT GOING AFTER THE REAPER CHARA FOR ONE SECOND ERROR I WILL BEAT YOUR ASS TO HELL AND BACK.

hipster death: damnit

comedy destroyer: point taken

Supreme Overlord: wHAT evVen IS nIGHTamRE’s gOL

Supreme Overlord: gOAL

BATMAN: NEGATIVITY EVERYWHERE.

Supreme Overlord: tHAT’s a BORInG GoAL

BATMAN: FUCK YOU.

Supreme Overlord: nO thANKs I’’M NoT ONE fOR tENtACLES

BATMAN: YOU ARE LIKE A USED NAPKIN.

BATMAN: DIRTY.

what the fuck: that’s awfully specific

BATMAN: SHUT YOUR TRAP, YOU UTTER WHEELBARROW.

what the fuck: what makes me a wheelbarrow

BATMAN: YOU CARRY SHIT SOMETIMES.

what the fuck: i

what the fuck: ok

Supreme Overlord: wHY odO u WANt EvRYONe tO bE MisERabLE

BATMAN: BECAUSE YOU ALL DESERVE IT.

BATMAN: TAKE THE MISERY.

BATMAN: TAKE IT.

Positive Person: Nightmare, you can take the misery.

Positive Person: And shove it right up your ass.

Positive Person: Maybe it’ll meet your head up there.

outer this world: O OO OH SIC K BU RN  

what the fuck: maybe nightmare should go to icetale

what the fuck: get some ice

BATMAN: THIS IS WHY I WANT YOU ALL TO BE MISERABLE.

what the fuck: for that BURN

BATMAN: DREAM I AM GOING TO GO FIND AND KILL YOU RIGHT NOW.

BATMAN: aSFDGB

BATMAN: WHAT THE FUCK.

BATMAN: WHO.

BATMAN: WHO PUT A WATER BUCKET.

BATMAN: ON THE FUCKING DOOR.

BATMAN: WHO THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE A “FUNNY PRANKSTER”.

Positive Person: :)

BATMAN: NO.

Positive Person: ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

your lord and saviour: thank you for this contribution to society dream

outer this world: dream i s t he pe op le’s favourit e

what the fuck: you’re thinking of waluigi

outer this world: drea m is walui gi num ber wa n

outer this world: nig htmare is l uigi nu mber a billi on

what the fuck: but in that case wouldn’t dream be mario

your lord and saviour: dream is daisy

your lord and saviour: LORD OF THE DEVILS

what the fuck: so nightmare is peach

what the fuck: lol

your lord and saviour: i’m mario because i’m perfect

Supreme Overlord: “PErfEct”

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I am Luigi!

what the fuck: then who is waluigi

comedy destroyer: me

what the fuck: …

what the fuck: that works

what the fuck: who does that make wario

your lord and saviour: cross

five dollar hoe: So we replace Wario’s love of garlic with Cross’ love of tacos

what the fuck: exactly

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I like tacos too! Making them, that is!

your lord and saviour: a new dynamic duo

RADICAL BRO: WOW BRAHS!! WHAT WE TALKIN ABOUT??

hipster death: he’s toad

your lord and saviour: i don’t think i’ve ever seen such a correct sentence in my life

RADICAL BRO: TOAD??

your lord and saviour: wait wait wait

your lord and saviour: who does that make yoshi

five dollar hoe: Well I do like being ridden

what the fuck: TM to the fucking I

your lord and saviour: and finally uh bowser

gno: fresh

your lord and saviour: fresh is toad

gno: fresh is bwsr digised as td

your lord and saviour: also very true

what the fuck: geno can be bowser

your lord and saviour: oh snap yeah

headbiter: do you assholes. have nothing better. to do with your time.

your lord and saviour: i can multitask

comedy destroyer: he’s in outertale

comedy destroyer: he just walked into a tree

your lord and saviour: i am in pain

comedy destroyer: good

Sci: …

Sci: Cross.

xcellent: yes

Sci: I hope you are willing to reimburse me for all the damages.

xcellent: u h

Sci: Because if you aren’t.

Sci: There will be hell to pay.

Sci: Hell, that is, in the form of several million gold.

xcellent: oh shit would you look at the time

xcellent: xotta skedaddle

Sci: Cross.

Sci: I will find you.

Sci: And I will make you pay.

your lord and saviour: he may have gotten rid of one ghost, but the ghost of debt has started to follow him

hipster death: haha, rip.


	7. Sci Hates Lazytown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BATMAN: GOOD EVENING MY MINIONS. I AM COMING HER TO DISCUSS MY BROTHER, WHO HAS BEEN UTTERLY IMPERTINENT AND RUDE.
> 
> BATMAN: HE HAS BEEN PUTTING “MEMES” IN MY CASTLE.
> 
> BATMAN: IRRESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR THAT MUST BE STOPPED.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nicknames:  
> Sans - our resident furry   
> Red - what the fuck   
> Blue - THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE  
> Razz - Supreme Overlord   
> Error - comedy destroyer   
> Ink - your lord and saviour   
> Lust - five dollar hoe   
> Geno - gno  
> Reaper - hipster death  
> Fresh - RADICAL BRO  
> Sci - Sci  
> Dream - Positive Person  
> Nightmare - BATMAN  
> Cross - xcellent   
> Outer - outer this world   
> Horror - headbiter   
> Dust - needs a vacuum cleaner   
> Killer - Target™  
> Dance - fork in the garbage disposal

gno: dd u knw 

gno: tht chldrn r dvl spwns 

hipster death: yes i did know that children are devil spawns 

gno: dd u hv 2 wrt ot th whl sntnce

hipster death: yes i did have to write out the whole sentence how else would i make sure the rest of the chat understood what you were saying 

your lord and saviour: reaper your efforts do not go unappreciated! 

hipster death: cool beans my dude 

hipster death: i’m on like five cups of coffee and i still feel chill 

hipster death: i think i’m getting jittery 

hipster death: reaping is gonna be fun 

hipster death: lol jokes reaping is never fun 

gno: cld u jst kll th kd alrdy 

hipster death: mamaaaa

hipster death: just killed a maaan

what the fuck: we are not going to have bohemian rhapsody in this chat 

hipster death: why not 

what the fuck: because 

what the fuck: lyrics 

what the fuck: you wanna say the lyrics, do it aloud 

our resident furry: ah yes, i can picture it now. 

our resident furry: death reaping people left and right, belting out at full volume bohemian rhapsody. 

our resident furry: he kills one person, he goes to the next. 

our resident furry: one person only gets a tidbit of the song before they die. 

hipster death: that is exactly what i’m doing 

needs a vacuum cleaner: geno come over...

gno: no 

needs a vacuum cleaner: my parents aren’t home...

gno: ur prnts r ded 

needs a vacuum cleaner: so... everyone here is dead…

gno: tru 

needs a vacuum cleaner: i have monopoly… 

gno: bb u knw i cnt lve th sv scrn 

needs a vacuum cleaner: oh yeah shit… 

needs a vacuum cleaner: i’m coming over… 

what the fuck: geno did you just call dust ‘babe’ 

gno: ys so 

what the fuck: don’t tell me 

what the fuck: ARE YOU FUCKING DATING HIM WHAT THE SHIT 

gno: ys 

hipster death: wait what 

hipster death: i thought you were single 

gno: u cld hv tkn th hnt frm th strt 

hipster death: i thought you were being tsundere 

gno: there’s a thing 

gno: called consent 

gno: i was like “no stop flirting fuck off” 

gno: and you were like “meh meh flirt” 

what the fuck: i see geno got tired of shortening stuff 

gno: its important shit 

gno: goin bck 2 nrml typn 

hipster death: oh uh 

hipster death: sorry mang 

gno: u bttr b

Sci: Cross has still not paid the debt. 

xcellent: be patient stinxy 

Sci: Do not compare me to that wretched fool. 

Sci: You dare mock me? 

Sci: After what I did to you? 

Sci: I am not Stingy. 

Sci: I am not part of Lazytown. 

Sci: I am not a greedy sack of shit. 

Sci: How  _ dare _ you. 

our resident furry: i didn’t realise sci had such strong opinions on stingy 

what the fuck: he’s like your past self how do you not remember this 

our resident furry: well 

our resident furry: things happened 

RADICAL BRO: NOT TO WORRY MY PAL!!! 

RADICAL BRO: YOU AIN’T STINGY!! 

RADICAL BRO: BUT I DO KNOW SOMEONE WHO ACTS LIKE HIM!! 

what the fuck: yes. we do.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Are you suggesting what I think you are? 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: …

comedy destroyer’s nickname was changed to Stingy. 

Sci: ...That is well deserved. 

Stingy: what the fuck 

Stingy’s nickname was changed to stingy. 

stingy: i would never use a capital letter 

what the fuck: have you just been lurking 

xcellent: he’s always lurking 

gno: lrkn… 

hipster death: who doesn’t lurk at this point 

what the fuck: well that is to say 

what the fuck: uh 

Sci: I don’t lurk. 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Nor do I! 

hipster death: aren’t you the blackmail guy

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I rescind my statement. 

hipster death: so uh. 

hipster death: what kind of blackmail do you have 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Oh, I have all kinds of receipts up my sleeves! 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I keep Red on his toes with the Maid Incident, and with Geno there’s the Ribbon Incident. But that’s just a couple. 

gno: wtf 

what the fuck: FUCKS SAKE 

gno: th incdnt ws ur flt 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: That’s what you think! 

our resident furry: doesn’t error also have lots of blackmail? 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Yes, but I have something to counter his! 

stingy: i hate you 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: :) 

our resident furry: error how many pieces of blackmail do you have on blue 

stingy: about 52 

our resident furry: blue what blackmail do you have on error 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I only have one, since he’s already too much of an embarrassment. 

stingy: rude 

our resident furry: how… on earth… does that blackmail fuck over error’s 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Oh, you know. 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I’d tell you but that would make me lose my leverage over him. 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Yes, that is quite the question…

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: How bad could it possibly be? 

stingy: i hate you so much 

BATMAN: GOOD EVENING MY MINIONS. I AM COMING HER TO DISCUSS MY BROTHER, WHO HAS BEEN UTTERLY IMPERTINENT AND RUDE. 

BATMAN: HE HAS BEEN PUTTING “MEMES” IN MY CASTLE. 

BATMAN: IRRESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR THAT MUST BE STOPPED.

your lord and saviour: dayum daniel 

your lord and saviour’s nickname was changed to if you use one more old meme i will kill you.

if you use one more old meme i will kill you: well it hasn’t really worked so far has it 

if you use one more old meme i will kill you: it dat error

if you use one more old meme i will kill you: o shit waddup 

stingy: that’s it, you’re did

stingy: dead 

if you use one more old meme i will kill you: did huh 

five dollar hoe: Did? You’re gonna do him?

stingy: i’m gonna fucking do him in 

five dollar hoe: Ooh, you’re being particularly kinky today 

stingy: what 

stingy: i’m coming for you next 

five dollar hoe: Coming for me? Oh please do sweetheart

headbiter: please. i’m fucking choking over here.

five dollar hoe: On some dick? 

headbiter: p.lease.

five dollar hoe: Begging are we 

headbiter: fuuuuck.

five dollar hoe: That’s right, moan 

headbiter: i am leaving.

five dollar hoe: Oh come on I was just taking the piss

Supreme Overlord: so UR iNTO wATerSpoRTs nOW ?

five dollar hoe: I don’t think I’ve ever been this proud of you

Supreme Overlord: i hOPe iT sTAys thAT wAy

BATMAN: HOLD ON. 

BATMAN: THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT CHAT. 

headbiter: oh so. now you realise. 

BATMAN: I DO NOT APPRECIATE THAT SASS. 

headbiter: bite me.

BATMAN: ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? 

Positive Person: Lighten up! 

BATMAN: RATHER NOT. 

Positive Person: Oh yes, I conveniently forgot you were weak to light! Silly me! (^～^;)ゞ

what the fuck: “conveniently forgot” lmao 

Positive Person: Silly me… ಠﭛಠ

what the fuck: what on earth is that face 

Positive Person: ಠﭛಠ

what the fuck: ಠﭛಠ

BATMAN: IF I SEE ONE MORE POSTER SAYING “CLAIMS TO BE PRO LIFE, DIES ANYWAY” I WILL DEFENESTRATE SOMEONE. 

Positive Person: Go to the foyer. 

BATMAN: I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE ARRANGEMENT OF THESE POSTERS. WHY IS ONE ON ITS SIDE. 

Positive Person: |    | |

Positive Person: | |  | _

BATMAN: YES, LIKE THAT. 

BATMAN: WHAT KIND OF DESIGN CHOICE WAS THAT? 

Target™: Why is Nightmare getting pissy over loss memes 

BATMAN: WHAT IS A “LOSS MEME”? 

Target™: Uh 

Target™: A meme 

BATMAN: I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT A MEME IS. IT IS ALL JUST PLAIN GIBBERISH. 

BATMAN: MINIONS, I DO NOT THINK IT IS RIGHT THAT YOU LOOK AT THESE “MEME”S. 

BATMAN: CLEARLY THEY ARE SOME TRICK. 

RADICAL BRO: MINIONS?? 

RADICAL BRO: OOH!! 

BATMAN: YES, MY MINIONS. 

RADICAL BRO: YOU HAVE A MINION COLLECTION TOO?? 

BATMAN: I SUPPOSE YOU COULD CALL IT THAT. 

RADICAL BRO: MY FAVOURITE IS BOB! 

BATMAN: OKAY. 

RADICAL BRO: WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE?? 

BATMAN: I DO NOT HAVE A FAVOURITE. I HATE THEM ALL EQUALLY. 

RADICAL BRO: YOU HATE MINIONS??? 

BATMAN: YES, OF COURSE I HATE MY MINIONS. 

BATMAN: THEY WOULD NOT TAKE ME SERIOUSLY OTHERWISE. 

if you use one more old meme i will kill you’s nickname was changed to twinky winky. 

twinky winky: this is less long 

twinky winky: wait what are you 

twinky winky: ...carry on 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Should someone tell them? 

what the fuck: absolutely not 

BATMAN: WHAT ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT. 

Positive Person: Nightmare, minions are little yellow creatures that come from a movie. 

Positive Person: Fresh has the merch. 

BATMAN: SO FRESH. 

BATMAN: WAS MAKING A MOCKERY OF ME. 

RADICAL BRO: HUH??? WHAT WAS MY BROHAM TALKIN BOUT THEN?? 

BATMAN: MY MINIONS! WHO FOLLOW MY ORDERS! 

RADICAL BRO: OOOOOOHH THOSE MINIONS! 

RADICAL BRO: SO YOU’VE NEVER SEEN A MINION BEFORE, MY FLY GUY?? 

BATMAN: NOT IN YOUR TERMS. 

RADICAL BRO: THAT IS ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE!! I’M GONNA SHOW YOU MY SHIZZ! 

BATMAN: I SUPPOSE THAT WOULD MAKE MY UNDERSTANDING BETTER.

gno: dnt 

gno: he hs lk 200 of th thngs

outer this world: he h as tw o hund red min ions?

gno: i md th sm mstk as nm 

outer this world: so f resh s howed y ou a ll hi s mi nions

gno: mhm

outer this world: sh it 

stingy: ink 

stingy: i hate you 

twinky winky: you are a sore loser! 

stingy: no 

stingy: you are just an annoying prick 

five dollar hoe: Ink i will pay you to dress up as a phallic object 

twinky winky: oh you don’t need to pay me

twinky winky: it’s already done

stingy: oh fuck me 

twinky winky: not interested sorry 

stingy: FUCK OFF 

five dollar hoe: No one wants to fuck Error 

five dollar hoe: Except like 

five dollar hoe: Uh 

five dollar hoe: Hm 

five dollar hoe: I take back the ‘except’ 

stingy: well i don’t want to fuck anyone anyway 

stingy: or be fucked by anyone 

xcellent: xet fucked

stingy: no 

five dollar hoe: Correction: Cross wants to fuck Error 

xcellent: untrue 

twinky winky: cross i trusted you 

xcellent: HES LYINX 

five dollar hoe: I am a saucy bitch 

five dollar hoe: And I’m sure you think the same of Error 

xcellent: ITS ERROR WITH TH E CRUSH SHIT NOT ME 

xcellent: it doesn’t xo two ways 

five dollar hoe: Yet 

five dollar hoe: Anyway 

five dollar hoe: It’s hip to fuck me 

stingy: it will never be hip to fuck you

five dollar hoe: :( 

five dollar hoe: Well it’s not hip to fuck you either 

stingy: good 

five dollar hoe: Dangit I can’t win 

stingy: that’s because i’m waluigi 

stingy: and i’m the wiiinnerrrr

Sci: I thought you were Stingy. 

stingy: i can be both 

five dollar hoe: Actually, you’re the wiener

twinky winky: no, he’s the whiner 

what the fuck: it’s time to drag error boys 

stingy: i hate you all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried to avoid memes for as long as possible i'm so sorry   
> the good thing is that eventually they will all become old and this chapter will be even worse in the future   
> then nightmare's rage will be even more understandable than before   
> i've started getting my partner's help on the chapters so there are going to be some absolutely wonderful things in future chapters. suffer with me. there are terrible, terrible plans.   
> will you ever know what blackmail blue has on everyone? maybe. all i hope is that at least one person understands what error's is related to. and it is terrible. i'm so sorry.


	8. Nightmare Guest Stars on Despicable Me 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BATMAN: I HATE YOU.
> 
> Supreme Overlord: yOu HaTE eVeeRyONe
> 
> BATMAN: I ESPECIALLY HATE FRESH.
> 
> RADICAL BRO: THAT’S OK BRO!! IF I COULD HATE YOU I WOULD!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nicknames:  
> Sans - our resident furry  
> Red - what the fuck  
> Blue - THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE  
> Razz - Supreme Overlord  
> Error - stingy  
> Ink - twinky winky  
> Lust - five dollar hoe  
> Geno - gno  
> Reaper - hipster death  
> Fresh - RADICAL BRO  
> Sci - Sci  
> Dream - Positive Person  
> Nightmare - BATMAN  
> Cross - xcellent  
> Outer - outer this world  
> Horror - headbiter  
> Dust - needs a vacuum cleaner  
> Killer - Target™  
> Dance - fork in the garbage disposal

RADICAL BRO: DID YOU LIKE MY MINIONS??? 

BATMAN: THEY ARE UGLY LITTLE GREMLINS. 

RADICAL BRO: THAT’S NOT VERY COOL OF YOU MY DUDE!! 

BATMAN: I DO NOT CARE. 

RADICAL BRO: WELL!! 

RADICAL BRO: I BET!! THAT YOU CAN’T 24 HOURS STANDING STILL AND DOING NOTHING!

BATMAN: WHAT. 

BATMAN: WHAT RELEVANCE DOES THIS HAVE. 

RADICAL BRO: I AM MAKING A BET WITH YOU MY FLY BROSEPH! 

twinky winky: fresh didn’t you say that gambling is ‘unrad’ and ‘not tubular’

RADICAL BRO: I CHANGED MY MIND!! 

BATMAN: BRING IT. 

RADICAL BRO: WE ARE PUTTING THIS INTO ACTION. 

RADICAL BRO: SHOULD I LOSE, THEN…

BATMAN: I GET TO DESTROY ALL YOUR STUPID MINIONS. 

RADICAL BRO: FINE!! 

RADICAL BRO: BUT IF YOU LOSE…

BATMAN: I WILL NOT LOSE.

RADICAL BRO: YOU HAVE TO WEAR A MINION COSTUME FOR A FULL DAY! 

RADICAL BRO: AS IN, 24 HOURS!! 

RADICAL BRO: BUT YOU WOULDN’T LOSE, SO IT’LL BE FINE RIGHT?? 

BATMAN: BRING IT. 

RADICAL BRO: IT STARTS NOW. 

RADICAL BRO: MEANING YOU HAVE DO NOTHING! NO TEXTING!! I’LL BE WATCHING B).

RADICAL BRO: SAY, INK, DREAM, CROSS, COULD YOU COME OVER TO NIGHTMARE’S CASTLE? 

twinky winky: sure hold on 

Positive Person: :) 

xcellent: oh i see 

stingy: why the fuck 

stingy: what the FUCK 

what the fuck: yes? 

stingy: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS WEIRD GREEN THING 

stingy: IT LOOKS LIKE A DICK BUT IT ISN’T 

Supreme Overlord: wHAT 

stingy: WHAT THE FUCK IS IT 

Supreme Overlord: wHAT iS uR PRoblEM

stingy sent a photo. 

stingy: WHAT IS THIS FUCKING THING 

Supreme Overlord: thAt’S a CucUmbER

stingy: WHAT’S A CUCUMBER 

Supreme Overlord: tHat vEGetaBle

stingy: what the fuck 

stingy: are they growing dicks now 

stingy: it didn’t even come from underlust 

five dollar hoe: Come? 

five dollar hoe: Well, it is called a cuCUMber

stingy: i hate you and i hate this cucumber 

what the fuck: why are you so pent up over a fucking cucumber 

stingy: IT CAME FROM BEHIND 

Supreme Overlord: iTs a VegeTABle

Supreme Overlord: iT vcaNt mOvE

stingy: THEN SOMEONE PUT IT HERE 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Error, you don’t know what a cucumber is? 

stingy: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW WHAT IT IS 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Now that is embarrassing. 

stingy: DO YOU THINK I CARE 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: No. 

Target™: Why is the castle covered in toilet paper 

twinky winky: i work quickly 

Target™: What the hell have You done 

Target™: Is that a 

Target™: “Dream wuz here” 

Target™: I didn’t think Dream was one for vandalism 

Positive Person: (=｀ω´=)

Positive Person:  **_@BATMAN_ **

Positive Person: βακα…_φ(ﾟ∀ﾟ )

outer this world: o h snap 

our resident furry: are you just trying to figure out how long it will take for nightmare to snap 

twinky winky: yes 

Target™: WHAT THE FUCK IS CROSS DOING 

xcellent: (๑ ऀืົཽ₍₍ළ₎₎ ऀืົཽ)✧

Target™: What the fuck is that emoticon

xcellent: (◞≼☉≽◟◞౪◟◞≼☉≽◟)

Target™: I don’t like this 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Ok, Dream, I think we should have done this obvious joke a long time ago. 

Positive Person’s nickname was changed to Proton. 

Proton: Oh! Of course! 

headbiter: ok i just. walked in. what is cross. doing.

Target™: There’s… Tacos…. Everywhere…

xcellent: :) 

stingy: the cucumber has been disposed of and destroyed 

stingy: it is nothing but dust now 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: ...In that case it could have been a monster. 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Error, did you kill someone. 

stingy: hell yeah 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Error, we talked about this. 

stingy: did you think i would listen 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: ...No. 

stingy: exactly 

needs a vacuum cleaner: i’m not even gonna ask…

needs a vacuum cleaner: i’m glad i’m not at the castle… 

headbiter: where are you.

needs a vacuum cleaner: save screen in aftertale…

headbiter: get over here. we need to stop them before nightmare. loses the bet.

Target™: Oh I’m not stopping Them 

Target™: I think it will be hilarious 

headbiter: killer. please. 

Target™: You just want to get rid of the dunce cap 

headbiter: he literally glued. it on my head.

headbiter: please. 

Target™: Suffer 

headbiter: augh.

xcellent: i must say 

xcellent: i am LOVINX the makeover fresh is xivinx nixhtmare 

xcellent: i can see it is takinx all of nixhtmare’s self control to stop himself from killinx fresh

xcellent: the lipstick is a nice touch 

RADICAL BRO: I THINK HE NEEDS SOME FAKE EYELASHES!!

RADICAL BRO: INK COME IN HERE I NEED PAINT 

twinky winky: gimme a sec

xcellent: 

xcellent: holy

xcellent: ok it uh 

xcellent: dream you 

Proton: Hush. We all want to see Nightmare in a minion costume. 

Proton: Blackmail seems to be the hip new thing and I want in. 

Proton: So let me dab on his desk. 

xcellent: im sobbin

Target™: Has He broken yet 

twinky winky: i think he’s close to the boiling point 

twinky winky: he’s gonna burst a fuse 

twinky winky: 

twinky winky: guys 

twinky winky: you may all want to run 

xcellent: SETWIKOUESDLV<KNX

xcellent: HES SO MAD 

RADICAL BRO: WELL THIS MEANS HE’S GONNA BE IN A MINION SUIT 

Proton: HELP 

Proton: HE SOMEHOW SET ME ON FIRE 

Proton: HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE FIRE POWERS 

Proton: IT HONESTLY SEEMS KIND OF COUNTERPRODUCTIVE CONSIDERING HE’S WEAK TO LIGHT

twinky winky: oh the fire was me that was my bad 

xcellent: how did you manaxe to set somethinx on fire 

twinky winky: well 

twinky winky: i thought it would get him moving 

xcellent: it certainly moved a lot 

Proton: INK WHY WOULD YOU SET ME ON FIRE 

twinky winky: I DIDNT IT JUST SPREAD FROM WHERE I MADE IT 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING! 

BATMAN: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO DIE SO HARD. 

what the fuck: WE CAN’T YELL THIS IS A CHAT 

xcellent: HE MEANS WHY ARE WE ALL USINX CAPSLOCK 

what the fuck: I KNOW THAT 

xcellent: THEN STOP MAKINX SMARTASS COMMENTS 

stingy: you are all going to stop before i end you myself 

xcellent: FUCK YOU 

stingy: rather not 

xcellent: OH REALLY 

stingy: yeah 

xcellent: THATS NOT WHAT UR MOM SAID LAST NIGHT 

what the fuck: are we stooping to ur mom jokes 

xcellent: UR MOM 

what the fuck: ok 

stingy: who is my mother 

xcellent: UR MOM 

xcellent: wait that’s true 

xcellent: OH SHIT NIXHTMARE 

twinky winky: RUN CROSS 

xcellent: HE IS HERE AND HE IS VERY VERY ANXRY

what the fuck: shouldn’t you be running instead of texting 

xcellent: UH 

xcellent: tru 

gno: th hll dd i mss 

what the fuck: some stupid bullshit 

gno: k

five dollar hoe: Lol heartless 

gno: 8/9 hrtlss

five dollar hoe: Details 

xcellent: ok i think i’m safe 

xcellent: i ran far away 

stingy: are you sure you’re safe 

xcellent: i trust you 

twinky winky: aww 

our resident furry: gay 

xcellent: not like that 

stingy: … 

xcellent: look 

xcellent: i may be trapped in a strinx cocoon 

xcellent: but you manaxed to trap yourself in the process

xcellent: i think i’ll be safe 

twinky winky: hA WHAT 

xcellent: i ran off to the antivoid cuz nixhtmare was after me 

xcellent: and error xot pissy and tied me up 

xcellent: and accidentally tied himself up too 

twinky winky: HAHAHASDFDGBV

BATMAN: SO YOU ARE OUT OF COMMISION. 

BATMAN: I AM COMING FOR YOU.

BATMAN: YOU CANNOT ESCAPE MY WRATH. 

stingy: oh shit 

xcellent: 

xcellent: ERROR XET US OUT 

stingy: IM TRYING 

xcellent: IM TOO COOL TO DIE 

stingy: AAAAAAA 

xcellent: AAAAA 

xcellent: HES HERE 

Proton: I’ll save you! 

BATMAN: I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU. 

twinky winky: dream that’s a bad idea don’t go over there 

Proton: Too late! 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: I can’t leave any of you for two seconds can I. 

what the fuck: what are you, our babysitter 

fork in the garbage disposal: what kind of babysitter keeps blackmail on the kids 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: A responsible one.

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Don’t want your parents to find out what you’ve been doing, do you? 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Or in this case, your brothers. 

fork in the garbage disposal: you rat bastard 

Proton: holy shit 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: DREAM DON’T CURSE!! 

Proton: Holy sh*t

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: DR EAM 

Proton: *whispers* that’s gay 

what the fuck: should i even ask

Proton: They untangled themselves and then Error picked up Cross bridal style and ran off. 

our resident furry: that’s gay 

xcellent: everyone’s gay 

our resident furry: ...is anyone even straight in here 

outer this world: pro babl y n ot

twinky winky: lol cross isn’t even denying that he’s gay for error anymore 

xcellent: shut your filthy mouth 

twinky winky: ;)

our resident furry: well it’s already been clarified that outer and dream are gay for each other 

Proton: What

outer this world: wh at 

our resident furry: you’ve both said it do you want screenshots go smooch or something 

Proton: I’m trying to run from Nightmare.

our resident furry: there’s always unnecessary romance in dramatic scenes go for it 

twinky winky: skjfghdjkf 

twinky winky: don’t worry guys 

twinky winky: i’ve bribed nightmare 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Do tell.

twinky winky: nah i have my secrets 

stingy: i know but i’ve been bribed 

fork in the garbage disposal: why is there so much blackmail and bribery 

what the fuck: you are surrounded by murderers and thieves from alternate universes what are you expecting 

fork in the garbage disposal: not this 

BATMAN: HORROR. IF YOU MANAGE TO KILL FRESH I WILL REMOVE THE DUNCE CAP. 

headbiter: on it.

RADICAL BRO: THAT’S NOT VERY RAD BRO!! 

RADICAL BRO: WHERE’S YOUR SPORTSMANSHIP?? 

BATMAN: I HATE YOU.

Supreme Overlord: yOu HaTE eVeeRyONe 

BATMAN: I ESPECIALLY HATE FRESH. 

RADICAL BRO: THAT’S OK BRO!! IF I COULD HATE YOU I WOULD!! 

RADICAL BRO: OH THAT’S.

RADICAL BRO: AN AXE. 

RADICAL BRO: GOOD THING IT DIDN’T HIT ME!! 

headbiter: die.

RADICAL BRO: OK, MY HOST CAN DIE! 

RADICAL BRO: BYE BRO! 

headbiter: sass;dfdhvobkvj ,nm kldf,v 

headbiter: nSOFDHGFBV kjd

what the fuck: horror i do not envy you at all 

headbiter: WHO’S HORROR THERE IS ONLY FRESH 

what the fuck: oh no 

headbiter’s nickname was changed to BITEY BRO. 

BITEY BRO: B)

BATMAN: GOD FUCKING DAMNIT.

BITEY BRO: ON THE UPSIDE, THE DUNCE CAP WAS REPLACED WITH MY RADICAL HAT!!! 

BATMAN: THAT DUNCE CAP IS GOING BACK ON HIS HEAD THE MOMENT YOU LEAVE HIS BODY. 

our resident furry: unrelated, but.

our resident furry: i just found out that toriel has the recipe for butterscotch tart 

our resident furry: my school days are coming back to me. that tart is so fucking good my dudes.

BATMAN: DO NOT INTERRUPT ME. 

Sci: TH E TaRT RECIEP SFGDKFLH

Sci: GIMME 

twinky winky: wtf is a butterscotch tart 

what the fuck: you don’t know 

what the fuck: wait of course you don’t 

what the fuck: you don’t know shit do you 

Supreme Overlord: i wiLL cLAIm ThAt ReCIPe nO mATTer wHat It TaKEs

outer this world: you bett er b elieve im i n to this 

five dollar hoe: Hm. Kinky 

xcellent: ink wtf you dont know what a fuckinx butterscotch tart is 

xcellent: that’s just disxraceful

twinky winky: weLL IM SORRY 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Hello. Classic, be a dear and give me the recipe? I would love to use it to explore my cooking expertise. 

what the fuck: blue,

what the fuck: no offense 

five dollar hoe: That’s a loaded statement 

what the fuck: shut up 

what the fuck: i meant to say that to lust not you blue you can speak 

five dollar hoe: :( 

what the fuck: anyway 

what the fuck: blue 

what the fuck: you’re kind of shit at cooking. 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: .

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: You know what, Red? 

THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE: Fuck you. 

stingy: OH DAMN 

outer this world: WAYYYYOOOOOHHHH

outer this world: savage 

twinky winky: red, you deserved that 

what the fuck: OH COME ON WE ALL KNOW HE’S BAD AT IT 

what the fuck: HE’S LIKE CLASSIC’S BROTHER 

our resident furry: what the fuck did you just say 

what the fuck: your brother and blue both suck ass at cooking 

our resident furry: . well. 

our resident furry: did you know that i’m about to kick your ass. 

Proton: This is nice and all, but I think you should all realise that Fresh has managed to force Nightmare into a minion suit. 

stingy: WHAT

stingy: GIVE ME A FUCKING PICTURE RIGHT NOW. 

Proton sent a photo.

xcellent: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA 

needs a vacuum cleaner: nice…

twinky winky: holy shit 

twinky winky: he actually did it the absolute madman

BITEY BRO: B) 

BITEY BRO: ANYWAY, INK, HOPE THAT CLEARED UP THAT BRIBE. 

twinky winky: yes. yes it did. 

BITEY BRO: YOU BETTER BE PAYIN ME NOW PAL!!!! 

Sci: Speaking of payment. 

Sci: Cross.

xcellent: SAVE ME 

xcellent: WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME GOTTA SKEDADDLE 

stingy: HEY 

gno: wht th fck is goin on here on ths day

stingy: HE RAN OFF AND STOLE MY FUCKING CHOCOLATE 

twinky winky: well error 

twinky winky: you were too choco-late

stingy: die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im outta the undertale fandom but i like writing this silly fic so i'm gonna continue writing it. updates will likely be sparse tho, sorry. anyway the entire butterscotch tart thing was because of me having butterscotch tart for the first time in years and let me fucking tell you it was amazing.


End file.
